As David Cameron urges the UK film industry to make more dynamic, commercially viable movies, we've been coming up with some sure fire hits he might like...
Kes was a pretty good film, but it wasn't exactly Avatar was it? David Lean's films were worth watching, but let's face it, more people have seen Independence Day.
If David Cameron has his way, the UK will stop making all those silly little films set in Northern council estates or in 19th century London, and will instead focus on the kind of fare that big audiences will flock to see – films with lasers in and things like that.
Well, maybe we're taking what Cameron said in yesterday's speech a little too literally. But he did say, "Our role should be to support the sector in becoming even more dynamic and entrepreneurial, helping UK producers to make commercially successful pictures that rival […] the best international productions," which sounds like he's hoping someone's going to come forward and make Jurassic Park in a British nature reserve.
Exactly what Cameron's words mean for the UK film industry is open to debate – and our own Nick Horton's provided his view on it all here – but the whole topic's got us thinking: what are these dynamic, entrepeneurial films Cameron talks about?
After much thought, and much fiddling around with layers in Photoshop, we've brought you the following: five movie concepts expressly designed to get mass audiences salivating, and our esteemed Prime Minister nodding in quiet approval.
THE KING'S SPEECH 2: MISSION TO MOSCOW
As Police Academy and Die Hard prove, all franchises end up somewhere near Red Square sooner or later, and in this lavish sequel to the critical smash, The King's Speech, King George VI (Colin Firth) heads to Moscow to deliver a heartfelt, uplifting address of some sort to whoever was in charge of Russia shortly after World War II. We've not really thought much further ahead to be honest, but we can guarantee it'll contain lots of talking, a car chase, and a fist fight.
RAGING BULLINGDON
Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci don top hats and star in this Oscar-bate drama about people breaking things in restaurants. What could go wrong?
ETON MESS
David Cameron makes his big break as an action star in this semi-autobiographical story about an Etonian double agent who saves the world from terrorists. Directed by James Cameron and co-starring that horse out of War Horse.
TOY TORY
A computer animated family comedy about a miniature plush Conservative cabinet and their friendship with Boris Lightyear, a bumbling hero with the catchphrase, “To Islington and beyond”.
THE IRON LADY RISES
A dark, hard-hitting sequel to The Iron Lady. Here, the legendary Prime Minister undergoes her toughest mission yet – though what that might entail is anyone's guess. We just quite liked the notion of Meryl Streep peering down on Gotham City while dressed as Margaret Thatcher.
Do you have any suggestions for potential Cameron-friendly movies? A new take on The Empire Strikes Back? EastEnders: The Movie? You're All In This Together: The Musical?
If so, feel free to add them in the comments...
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