This review contains spoilers.

5.7 Circle Us

There's a joy in Dexter currently that seems like an antidote to the crushing depression of Rita's demise. Not only was Circle Us a turning point for season five, finally offering up the major villain, but it was also one of the funniest of the shows so far.

As least two passages of dialogue made me laugh out loud, the first of which was Dexter's reaction to the appearance, courtesy of his Irish nanny, of a religious figurine next to Harrison. "That's either a saint, or the most unexciting action figure ever."

But that was topped later by some images that Dexter took of men he thought might be Lumen's abductors, where she sees in the shot Vince Masuka and immediately identifies him as "a freak".

However, the levity was carefully balanced with some fairly dark events, specifically the deadly combination of inspirational speaker Jordan Chase and his accident prone henchman, Cole Harmon. On top of that, we have the case that Debra is pursuing, which goes horribly wrong when Maria makes some exceptionally poor strategic choices when they try to arrest the Fuentes brothers in a nightclub.

I thought at one point that these two threads might ultimately combine, but that seems much less likely now. I'm also not sure how to read the lethal efficiency that Debra exhibits, but clearly Dexter's not the only Morgan who can kill people ruthlessly.

After I'd watched this episode, I was left with a very uneasy feeling about the blossoming relationship between Lumen and Dexter, and how it might end. Expecting her to continue her life after her abductors are dealt with seems completely unrealistic, as does integrating her into Dexter's life. Given what happened to poor Rita, I'm concerned that Lumen is heading for a tragic end, after bringing a moment of humanity to Dexter's life.

I hope that she's not just more fodder, but I can't help but conclude that she may be too psychologically damaged to survive the season.

A few people have commented to me that Lumen never does what she's told, although in this story Dexter would have been in real trouble had she stayed in the car. I suspect that failure to follow instructions will be her ultimate undoing.

Again, I must salute those who cast Dexter. After the masterstroke of Lithgow last year, they've brought in Julia Stiles as Lumen. Her exchanges with Michael C. Hall spark in a way that he and Julie Benz never quite managed. They've got much more cut and thrust.

There's a danger here that they'll descend into some oddly conceived homage to Bonny and Clyde, but I'm confident that the writing team behind this show won't let it slide into that sort of pastiche.

What I can't assess yet is what sort of opponent Jordan Chase is likely to become, although Jonny Lee Miller (Eli Stone) does look the sort of clean cut political figure that worry me most. With only five episodes left it will be interesting to see where the plot can take him, other than onto Dexter's table.

The trailer for next week's story suggests that Quinn's private investigation into Dexter spirals out of control, as Liddy becomes uncontrollable. I can see that, now we're in the down slope of season 5, the pace is likely to pick up rather smartly from here on.

Read our review of episode 6, Everything Is Illumenated, here.

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8. Hold Me In Paradise

A number of big plot developments took place in Hold Me In Paradise, but, much in keeping with the way the rest of the series has played out, these 'game-changers' took place with little in the way of bombast or fanfare.

We got to see the casino heist a lot quicker than expected. First alluded to in last week's episode in a short scene between Lucky Luciano and the pesky Italians who have been causing trouble for Nucky all season, it could have reasonably been expected that this would have taken place later in the season, given the stately pace at which events in Boardwalk Empire have unfolded so far.

But we saw the heist go down almost immediately, with thousands of dollars being stolen with relative ease from one of Nucky's biggest earning establishments. Not only that, but police chief and Nucky's brother, Eli, was also shot and left for dead in the process.

This was not the barnstorming, tense action setpiece that we might have expected, given the outcome, however. It was shot sedately and matter-of-factly, in stark contrast to the operatic violence we have seen in the show up to this point, such as the tearoom assassination last week and the Jimmy-led hotel shoot out the week previous.

It works, however, because although Eli's shooting proves to be the catalyst that finally unites Nucky and Jimmy together again, the real action in this episode takes place in its languid, yet gripping conversational scenes, something that has come to characterize the series as a whole over the previous few weeks.

At the beginning of the episode, Eli, while filling in for Nucky as he attends a Republican party convention in Chicago, plays down Nucky's politicking abilities, dismissing him as he has done previously as all mouth and no trousers: "If I bought a nickel joke book down at the five and dime, I'd be the toast of the town myself!"

But what this episode proves beyond all doubt is that nobody can do what Nucky does quite like Nucky does. The hapless Eli proves to be a useless substitute. Luciano and the Italians clearly sense the weakness when Nucky is out of the picture, and the simplistic nature of the casino heist serves to demonstrate how easy it is for them to overcome him. He can't even watch a porno with the town high-fliers without it catching fire.

Nucky, meanwhile, pulls off some seriously badass Machiavellian maneuvering in this episode. Sensing a double-cross by his two senator ‘friends' regarding his desperately needed road money, he quickly throws his hat in with Harry Daugherty (played by the always excellent Christopher Donald, AKA Shooter McGavin AKA the best thing about Requiem For A Dream), the similarly wily and charismatic campaign manager for the unfancied Republican candidate, Warren Harding.

With a few words in ears, and the promise to take care of Harding's troublesome mistress problems, Nucky has ousted his friend from a locked-on vice presidential position, and firmly secured the presidential nomination for Harding. Nucky's casually awesome power is demonstrated best in an early moment where he insists on the use of the hotel's presidential suite, already booked by Harding: "He may be a future president of the United States, but I am an excellent tipper," he states, whilst unloading the contents of a huge money clip into the hands of a startled concierge.

Jimmy, on the other hand, is reveling in the clothes and cash that his status as an enforcer for Torrio's crew affords him. After a disdainful visit from Nucky, however, we see that Jimmy is still seeking something, whether it be Nucky's approval, a sense of belonging, a family or all of the above. A scene that shows him watching Capone and the other hoods bantering in Italian from afar makes it clear that Jimmy's a fish out of water. His heart still lies back in Atlantic City. 

The disparate threads that have dangled since the end of the pilot episode are finally tied together in Hold Me In Paradise. If they're going to survive this topsy-turvy transitional period for crime, government and America, Jimmy and Nucky are going to need each other. Not only that, they can no longer be ‘half' gangsters, as Jimmy accused Nucky of being in the pilot episode. They're going to have to get their hands dirty.

The most moving story strand in Hold Me In Paradise belongs, surprisingly, to Van Alden, who has skirted the boundaries of cartoonish dementedness in every episode thus far. Here, he is a much more tragic, relatable figure. He has been intercepting money from Jimmy to his family, storing the envelopes stuffed with cash in a drawer in his desk.

In another suffocating dinner table scene between Van Alden and his wife, it is revealed that she's unable to bear children, and when she raises the possibility of surgery in order to rectify this, she is quietly dismissed. He later wrestles with the morality of the idea, and for a fleeting moment it looks as though he will send her Jimmy's money for treatment.

Alas, it turns out to be a Silence Of The Lambs-style editing sleight of hand (is there a name for this trope? If not, someone needs to come up with one, sharpish. I've seen it done in three separate things I've watched this week).Van Alden sends the money to Jimmy's wife, and sends his own wife a stern letter pleading with her to "trust in God's plan."

The sight of her despairing face as she realizes they will never have children is a more powerful image in terms of demonstrating the destructive force of rigidly enforced dogma than a thousand graphic belt whippings.

Boardwalk Empire continues to take its sweet time getting to its destinations, but if you are willing to put the effort in, there is so much packed into these episodes to enjoy. For example, I've written a thousand words on this week's episode and haven't even mentioned Margaret's discovery of Nucky's business dealings. There was just too much other stuff I wanted to get through.

If you're looking for a thrill ride, then you're still going to be disappointed with Boardwalk Empire, but it has evolved into a tremendously enjoyable watch, one that I think will perhaps stand up better to DVD/marathon viewing than to watching it week by week, mainly due to its occasionally glacial pacing.

Hold Me In Paradise was one of the best mixes of history, plot, and character study that the show has produced so far, and now that the pieces are in place, I can't wait to see what's in store for the end game.

Read our review of episode 7, Home, here.

Follow Paul Martinovic on Twitter @paulmartinovic.

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First appearing in 1982, Katsuhiro Otomo's Akira was an epic manga, amounting to more than 2,000 pages when it finished its run in 1990. Otomo's own animated feature, which condensed his cyberpunk tale of bikers, drugs and psychic powers into a relatively compact 125 minutes, was technically ambitious and often stunning to behold.

Frequently cited as the film that popularised Japanese animation in the west, Akira quickly acquired a cult following when it arrived on our shores in the early 90s, and there have been occasional rumours of a live-action remake since.

Almost 20 years later, and new stories arrived over the weekend that suggest an Akira movie is once again in the works. According to reports by Bloody Disgusting and Slash Film, the Akira movie will be shot in two parts by Albert Hughes, one of the directors of the so-so Alan Moore comic book adaptation, From Hell.

The actor reportedly lined up to play motorcycle-riding gang leader Shotaro Kaneda is said to be none other than High School Musical's Zac Efron. It's also claimed that Morgan Freeman will play the sinister, glowering Colonel who oversees secret government experiments into telekinesis and other psychic phenomena.

Freeman certainly has the gravitas to play the Colonel, though he's perhaps less physically imposing than the character originally presented by Otomo, and while Efron's an odd choice to play the leader of a gang of bikers, we'll grudgingly concede that, if his character's well enough written, he may still be able to convince.

What's more worrying are the rumours that Hughes has been put under pressure to make his take on Akira as family friendly as possible, with the film fit for a PG-13 certificate. Considering both the original manga and its animated adaptation contained frequent scenes of sex, drug-taking and Scanners-esque violence, it's likely that much of the source material's excesses will have to be toned down considerably.

Then there's the rumour that the live-action Akira will be set in Neo-New York, as opposed to Neo-Tokyo, a change in setting that makes about as much sense as relocating the drama of EastEnders to a farming community in China, and certainly makes us wonder what will be left of the original premise once writer Albert Torres has finished with it.

All this is, of course, mere speculation at this stage, and earlier casting rumours regarding Akira have been quickly denied in the past. It was rumoured two years ago that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was set to play the role of Tetsuo, the troubled teenager who was a key part of the original stories, a suggestion the actor quickly denied.

While we'd welcome a new, sensitive adaptation of Otomo's manga - with the possibilities that CG now afford, the mass-destruction of the anime and comic books could at last be created with comparative realism - there's something about a PG-13, US-set Akira that gives us a frisson of dread. Let's hope our fears are unfounded.

Slash Film
Bloody Disgusting

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The end of the year is traditionally quite full of family films, but this year we seem to be getting a real abundance of them. Depending where in the world you live, you might be getting everything from Tangled, Harry Potter, Gulliver's Travels, Yogi Bear, Tron Legacy and the third adventure in the Narnia franchise.

And it's the latter that we're chatting about here. It's apparently, according to this new trailer, "the motion picture event of the holiday season", but it can't be just us that detects a bit of apathy where the Narnia films are concerned. Neither movie thus far has done much but go through the motions, but this third one does have the advantage of director Michael Apted steering the ship.

Furthermore, this latest trailer (and there seem to have been a few) does actually look quite decent, from where we're sitting. Take a look at it yourself and see what you think. And then if you fancy seeing the film? It arrives in the UK on 9th December.

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Since we picked it up as one of our films to watch out for way back in January (right here), we've had a firm eye on the reunion of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in the upcoming comedy, Paul.

It's a film with several reasons to be interested, too, with Pegg and Frost's script right up there at the top of the list. But for this writer? There's the Greg Mottola factor. He's the director behind Superbad and the quite brilliant Adventureland, and we're keen to see how he's got on here, a project with a CG character as part and parcel of the ensemble.

We had the first trailer for Paul a little while back, but we've now got a couple of new snaps, too, courtesy of Empire. Its release is set for 18th February 2011 in the UK. Meanwhile, we'll be keeping you posted on the film in the months ahead.

Empire

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To be fair, we're playing a bit of catch up here, as Yahoo! first premiered the first of these two clips from Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part I a day or two back. Ordinarily, we'd leave it, but this one? It's really rather good.

We're effectively looking at a shootout in a café in the middle of a Harry Potter movie here, and it drops yet further hints as to the direction they're willing to push the film. The movie does, after all, have a 12A rating in the UK, and its length is a buttock-numbing two and a half hours (just short of).

The second clip, meanwhile, is brand new, and it finds Ron and Harry having a bit of a moment together. We're sure they'll sort it all out, though.

Anyway, we'll stop jabbering, and let you watch the clips. The film is out on the 19th of this month...

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Let's get this bit out of the way first. The planned title for the upcoming Clash Of The Titans 2 is Wrath Of The Titans. We hope this proves to be true. After all, for those of us who enjoyed the initial tagline to the original film - "Titans Will Clash" - this clearly opens up endless long tagline brainstorming meetings. We'll put a quid on "Titans Have Wrath" right now, if a similar approach is being followed.

Elsewhere on the film, Production Weekly is reporting that Javier Bardem and James Franco are being linked with the new film. Franco is being lined up to play Agenor, who in Greek mythology is the king of Tyre. Javier Bardem, meanwhile, is being touted as god of war, Ares.

Jonathan Liebesman is replacing Louis Letterier on Clash 2 (or Wrath 1, if you like), and Sam Worthington will be returning for the sequel. Expect it in 2012.

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It's been, it's fair to say, the highlight of the US autumn television schedules. Launching to record-breaking ratings for AMC in the US, and reaping significant critical acclaim, The Walking Dead has been a triumph. Based on the comic book series from Robert Kirkman, and overseen by Frank Darabont and Gale Anne Hurd, it's hard to think how the launch of the series could have gone better.

AMC clearly thinks the same, as it's now announced that it's pressing ahead with a second season of it. Considering just two episodes of the show have been screened to date, this is a massive pat on the back for The Walking Dead, but it's also something of a no-brainer.

As such, a 13-episode season two will be happening, and we've got a lot more The Walking Dead to look forward to as a result. This, friends, is very good news...

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It's not what you'd call a massive update, but Harrison Ford is currently doing the junket rounds for a new film, and inevitably, people are asking him about the current status of Indiana Jones 5.

To be fair, you could probably guess the answer a mile off, but Ford is batting it out in his usual style. Talking to Access Hollywood, he's confirmed that "George is working on something now, but I haven't really seen anything on paper." He goes on to say, "We've talked a little bit about it. It would be fun. I'd love to do it."

That has been the party line for some time now, and the truth of the project is likely to be that, until George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Ford himself can lock down a story that they're all happy with, they'll keep us waiting a little longer for the film.

Time, we might suggest, isn't on their side here, as Ford himself has conceding in recent years he's become a character actor now, more than a leading man. But perhaps if his new film, Morning Glory, gives his career a shot in the arm once more, it might accelerate a few people's thinking. (Is it just us that's looking forward to Cowboys & Aliens more than a fifth Indy movie, though?)

Here's the piece at Access Hollywood.

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David O. Russell's 1999 film Three Kings was a film I used to watch frequently in the early days of DVD. And with the recent release of the film on Blu-ray, and the announcement that Russell is set to bring my favourite modern videogame franchise, Uncharted, to the big screen, I thought it was time to give the film another look.

The film opens with a brief scene of American soldiers seeming confused and shooting a man waving a white flag. and almost immediately cuts back to base camp to show that there's a celebratory mood in the air. A peace treaty has just been signed, meaning that the troops can go home, so spirits are high.

It's here that we're given an introduction to each of the key characters: Sergeant Troy Barlow (Mark Wahlberg), who has a young family at home and enlisted to earn some extra cash to provide for them; Private Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze), an ignorant redneck who wants to be Troy; Sergeant Chief Elgin (Ice Cube), a devout Christian who was a baggage handler back home; and Major Archie Gates (George Clooney), a member of the special forces who has grown tired of the life of war that he has become accustomed to.

When Barlow and Vig find a treasure map hidden up an Iraqi soldier's backside, they decide to go to the sites marked out, as they're convinced that these locations house Saddam's stash of stolen Kuwaiti gold. Barlow, Vig and Elgin are initially reluctant to have Gates on board, however, the fact that he's such an experienced soldier and that they had seen very little action up to that point meant that they needed him more than he needed them, and they embark on the adventure to retrieve the gold.

It's soon discovered that the early celebrations are misjudged, as the peace treaty signed to bring America's involvement in the conflict to an end essentially consigned a vast number of people to death, as Saddam's republican guard were keen to make an example of those that rose up against him.

Gates and co are faced with a decision between turning a blind eye, taking the gold and getting out of there, or doing what they deep down feel is the right thing to do by standing up for inhabitants of the village that forms part of the uprising, risking their own lives in the process. Obviously, the fact that the soldiers are attempting to steal Kuwaiti gold is a despicable act, but had they not embarked on the heist, the dozens of people they escorted over the border would have surely been killed.

The fact that the four protagonists are essentially self-serving opportunists, out for their own interests, and remain likeable and easy to root for, is a big compliment to both the script and the actors' performances. Without exception, all involved give an incredible performance, which is particularly impressive given the fraught nature of the production.

It seemed that at almost every stage there were major problems. There were questions over the screenplay as John Ridley claimed that Russell had taken his story, which was a Gulf War heist movie that carried the title The Spoils Of War. The fact that Warner Bros, the studio that backed Three Kings, had optioned Ridley's script adds weight to the argument, although Russell would maintain that he hadn't read the script and merely liked the idea and made it his own.

The gruelling production and the methods that Russell employed caused conflict too, as his off the cuff style led to actors working longer days in the Arizona deserts that were providing the replacement for Iraq. Russell was under an incredible amount of pressure as this was the largest project he had been involved in at that point, and the pressure would manifest itself, as he would reportedly frequently fly off the handle, which caused a significant amount of conflict between him and Clooney, who was eager to stand up for the cast and crew. This eventually resulted in a well-reported physical fight between the two of them.

A lot of the political commentary was apparently toned down at the request of the studio, but both Russell and Clooney fought to keep things as close to the original script as possible and, as such, the film still manages to carry an effective message alongside the heist movie structure at its core.

Although Clooney openly stated that he would never work with Russell again, despite acknowledging the fact that he's a highly talented director, Mark Wahlberg returned to work with him on I Heart Huckabees. I'm not sure how popular a move it would be, but I wouldn't be hugely surprised if he's cast in Uncharted.

Clooney carries a sense of exasperation and frustration throughout his performance, which is understandable, considering he was working solidly between his work on the film and his ER commitments, as well as standing up for members of the cast and crew when he deemed that Russell was overreacting or mistreating the people around him. Although perhaps not intentional, it adds depth to the character of Major Archie Gates, who has clearly had enough of the war and is keen to get out with the rewards he feels that he's entitled to.

Still, despite the film's problems, the results are quite outstanding. Russell is without question a talented auteur who had a clear view on what his vision for the project was and had the conviction to stick to his guns and create the film he wanted to, albeit with a few concessions here and there. There are brilliant artistic flourishes throughout the film that, to some, may seem gimmicky, but for me they're interesting and hugely effective in the context of the scenes in which they feature.

The vivid depiction of the onset of sepsis following a gunshot wound acts as an effective image of the impact of being shot and is used later on in the film to devastating effect.

It's not an old film, by any means, but it's worth mentioning that it has held up incredibly well in the years since its release. The political message at its core is still relevant today, and from a technical perspective, nothing seems dated or poorly executed.

I find the majority of Russell's works interesting, but this is, by far, my favourite and one that I'd recommend highly for those who haven't seen it.

The Blu-ray might not be the most impressive I've seen. The picture is quite grainy, which is understandable when considering the type of equipment and film stock Russell opted for in bringing a sense of realism to the piece. However, the sound is quite disappointing, with a lot of it seeming quite muddy and it's another in a long line of releases where the sound levels of effects and dialogue are out of proportion and balance. But even with its faults, it's the best format I've seen the film in.

Three Kings is out now on Blu-ray and available from the Den Of Geek Store.

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2. L'Enclume

It's hard to judge a series after just two episodes, but going on the strength of what we're seen so far, The Trip has the potential to be one of Coogan's best pieces of work. Rob Brydon obviously shouldn't be ignored for his role in all of this, but considering Coogan's long line of TV successes, it's testament to the quality of the two episodes aired thus far that I can honestly mention this in the same breath as Saxondale and Partridge. It really is that good.

L'Enclume followed almost exactly the same pattern as the series opener, and I can only presume that the entire series will continue in this way. Coogan and Brydon turn up to another restaurant, eat some food, do lots of impressions, have a bit of competitive banter and turn in for the night. Can an entire series sustain such a format? Time will tell, but much will depend on the improvisational skills of the show's genius double act and I've seen nothing to suggest that they can't keep this up for another four episodes.

Last week I called for fewer impressions, something a few of you posted I was wrong to question. Well, this episode brought yet more of the same, from Bond to Ray Winstone, and for whatever reason, it worked for me this week. Again, I wonder whether the series will suffer if this is all we're going to get by episode six, but last night got it just right. The Ray Winstone bit, in particular, was a sublime piece of comedic banter, the pair comparing their impressions over a bowl of snot. "I want the money next Wednesday, but before that you're gonna drink a goblet of my sputum." Brilliant.

Other choice conversations of the night included the typically British way of being ultra polite, despite reservations about the food (Brydon's chastising of the sputum-inspired food one minute, then saying it was lovely to the waiter the next was very good), and confusions over a French waiter's very strong accent. It all sounds very dull on paper, but watching the pair at work was a joy once more and the series is proving that you can achieve an awful lot with very little. Like spending an evening with your mate who makes you laugh, this works on a very simple, but very effective level.

It is more apparent watching this episode that the competition between the pair of actors will play a vital role throughout the series, as both ramped up their impressions and general acting skills to fine aplomb across the table. Egos are a well-worn subject where actors are concerned and it's brilliantly played on here. Brydon's obvious delight at nailing a Bond line ("Come, come, Mr Bond. You get just as much pleasure from killing as I do. Fucking yeah!") had me in stitches.

Yet, it's the moments away from the dinner table that hold most intrigue for how the show may progress. An opening dream sequence of Coogan in America, talking with Ben Stiller about how all Hollywood's finest want to work with him, was a simply genius way to continue Coogan's career plotline. Touched on again at the show's end, this is presumably a recurring point for the series to return to.

The journey to the restaurant harked back to Partridge once more as the pair sang Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights, which has also appeared on Partridge, of course. Then there is Coogan's fractured, teetering relationship with girlfriend, Mischa, first punctured from his work on Anglo-Polish relations, and then upset further by his continuing insecurity about whether Mischa will leave him. The phone conversations Coogan has reveal a tortured, anxious soul and lend the show some touching moments.

These were most apparent during the episode's closing minutes, though, as a lilting piano juxtaposed Brydon's secure, happy relationship with his wife and Coogan's obsession with furthering his career in the US. As with last week's instalment, this mixture of two mindsets was well done and made me hanker for the next episode, as much as I wanted to eat the food they were downing, there and then.

That's the only problem with the show: the shots of food make me very hungry.

Read our review of the series premiere, The Inn At Whitewell, here.

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5.6 Gentleman's Intermission

As any TV show from Mad Men to Peep Show can tell you, romantic relationships in the workplace can be problematic. Tales of unexpected pregnancy, jealous co-workers and awkward sexual encounters with IT support in the stationery cupboard all serve as warnings to keep our staplers very much in our desk drawers. But as this week's 30 Rock tells us, the really problematic workplace relationships are the ones that go beyond mere exchange of bodily fluids and enter the tricky crossover realm of the work family.

Though it may sound like the kind of thing you'd see on creepy posters in the staff toilets of fast food chains, the work family is a widespread modern phenomenon. Due to the average person spending so long at work they lose the ability to forge relationships with the people who share their life, the work family is what happens when the average person is reduced to seeking companionship from the people who share their Pritt Stick. (And, no, that's not an innuendo.)

Exploding with pregnancy hormones, this week's episode sees Jack's girlfriend Avery attempt a plan more doomed to failure than if she were trying to convince Kenneth that evolution exists or Tracy that googling himself in public is inappropriate (hint: he doesn't have quite the same understanding of the verb as you or I).  Yes, Avery wants to break up Liz ‘n' Jack's work family and establish professional boundaries between her gloriously thatched man and his chaotic, dependent mess of an employee.

Jack and Liz's hard to define interdependent relationship is the heart of the show. Jack provides Liz with advice on her career, love life and posture, whilst Liz forgoes all personal dignity to help Jack out, whatever the situation. From flashing her boobs at a six sigma conference to playing Mad Libs with the bible to stall time at a catholic wedding, Liz is there for Jack, and he's there for her too.

Happily, 30 Rock did away with any tedious ‘will they won't they' plotlines in season one and went on to create something that's not really been done before in the world of sitcom: a genuinely platonic friendship between a man and a woman. Seinfeld's Jerry and Elaine? Friends with benefits. Will and Grace? Dated in college. Frasier and Roz? Did it once whilst Letterman was on. Even Black Books' Bernard and Fran woke up naked together one New Year's Day. But Jack and Liz? Nada. 

Jack's ability to withstand Lemon's ‘sexualidad ‘ rests on the absurd premise that Tina Fey is not actually gorgeous, which is just one of those willing suspension of disbelief things we all have to collude in, like shooting day for night or My Family being a comedy. Similarly, Liz harbours no such desires for Jack, except as somebody to whom she can show weird things on her leg and ask to solve her problems.

And, boy, does Liz have a problem this week. Gentleman's Intermission sees the welcome return of her father Dick Lemon (played well by Oscar-nominated screenwriter and actor, Buck Henry), who comes to New York to enjoy the episode's titular gentleman's intermission. Deciding that eighty is the age to start getting some extramarital action, he and his recently widowed wing man hit the clubs, prompting Liz to take drastic action involving her getting hit on by her own father whilst dressed as Dustin Hoffman's female alter-ego from Tootsie.

Meanwhile, Tracy is concerned about his legacy. Having watched his own pre-recorded obituary, listing his main achievements as a recent submarine DUI and being voted ‘worst representation of a black person' nine years in a row, he sets out to change his headline. Jenna, too, is worried about how (or whether) she'll be remembered, so decides to take matters into her own hands and pre-record her own obit. Their problems turn out to be nothing that getting Kenneth to murder a cat won't solve, which is more than can be said for Liz's horny octogenarian father.

Acting on Avery's demands, Jack has taken his own intermission from solving Liz's problems and gone in search of a new mentee for the Donaghy Mentoring Experience. Like Goldilocks in a sharp suit, he tries a few bowls of porridge, but finds Jonathan's too ambitionless, Tracy's too self-absorbed, Jenna's too stupid and Avery's too organised. By the end of the episode, Avery has to admit defeat and accept that Liz Lemon's porridge is just right and give the pair her blessing to go on doing "whatever it is this is".

Based on the chuckles of this season's solid run so far, long may it continue.

Read our review of episode 5, the Reaganing, here.

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Given that he went into retirement from acting back over a decade ago now, for personal reasons, it's perhaps not too surprising that Rick Moranis' back catalogue of movies isn't as bountiful as many of his contemporaries. Yet, Moranis certainly knew how to make a comedy mark (although, as we'll discover, there's more to the man than that). And while the 10 films we're going to talk about here are of mixed quality, the common feature is that Moranis delivers a performance that tends to stand out.

I should note from the outset, incidentally, that we're not going anywhere near the risible movie of The Flintstones here. But that's just common sense for all concerned.

Instead, as a fully-paid up fan of Mr Moranis, these are the ten films that reflect his body of work the best in my eyes...

10. Brother Bear

Very much Disney as it was entering into a barren period in the 1990s, Moranis nonetheless chips in with voicing duties on Brother Bear, and does a solid job. He lends his tones to the character of Rutt, which he would do again in the straight to DVD sequel, and he gets a good double act going with long-time collaborator Dave Thomas, the pair of them voicing moose brothers.

But, truth be told, this is functional, rather than spectacular, Disney, and while it's a nice film to have on your CV, it was only ever going to live at this end of the list. So we'd best move on.

9. Streets Of Fire

Rick Moranis paired with director Walter Hill on a duo of consecutive movies. He had a small role in the fun Brewster's Millions, which came out in 1985. But before that, he turned up in 1984's Streets Of Fire, a film we cited here for its underappreciated music.

Moranis here is Billy Fish, the manager of singer Ellen Aim, and the film is certainly far darker than pretty much everything else in his back catalogue. If you're looking for what you could define a traditional Rick Moranis piece, this is absolutely not it.

His role here isn't a particularly demonstrative one, although it's a part of narrative importance. But while it's Michael Pare, Diane Lane and Willem Dafoe who tend to be the most recognised whenever the film is (unfairly) rarely discussed, Moranis is worthy of a look, too.

8. My Blue Heaven

My Blue Heaven is not a good film. That's not a great start for something I've put eighth in a list. But heck, it's an interesting movie, for a few reasons, and it's very much worth a watch.

The headline problem, and I won't be the first to have noticed this, is that the double act between Steve Martin and Rick Moranis doesn't work very well. I'm a massive fan of both of them, and this should have been a dream comedy pairing. But it never gels.

The material, though, never lets them. With Martin playing the former mobster, and Moranis as the man overseeing him in the witness protection story, what you're actually getting here is a film inspired by the story of Henry Hill. The same Henry Hill whose story Martin Scorsese filmed so triumphantly with Goodfellas.

In a weird way, My Blue Heaven is - genuinely - Goodfellas 2, and it's when I learned this that I found watching the film a lot more interesting. Screenwriter Nora Ephron never gets the script right for me here, though. She's married to Nicholas Pileggi, who penned the book Wiseguy that became the Goodfellas movie, but you can't help but feel that she's pushed herself a little too far out of her comfort zone here.

But there's ambition to the project, nonetheless. Yet, while both leads are trying something a little different, and while Ephron is tackling an unusual story for a comedy, it never completely works. Still worth a spin, though.

7. The Adventures Of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew

Little known fact: Rick Moranis' feature film debut was actually in a film that he himself directed. Said feature is this one, where he and Dave Thomas reprised their roles as Bob and Doug McKenzie from their TV work. Thomas and Moranis wrote and directed the film, and while my recollection of it isn't as sharp as some of the titles we've talked about here, there's a lot to commend it for. Not least because they persuaded Max von Sydow to take part.

It's the double act between Moranis and Thomas that makes this one sing, though, as the pair face the realisation that they've run out of cash for beer, and thus try and get a job at a brewery. Logical, really. The plot is fairly straightforward from there, that they discover all is not well at said brewery. But it's a platform for comedy, and an effective one at that.

It's not a perfect film, and in many ways it's quite a raw one, relying on easy jokes just a little too often. But the core double act works, and I'm told there's a cracking drinking game to play while watching it, too. Always a bonus...

6. Spaceballs

I've elevated Spaceballs a little further up the list than ordinarily I would have done had I not specifically been taking the Moranis factor into account. But you try resisting one of his very best on-screen comedy creations further down the line. I'm talking, of course, about the scene-stealing work of Lord Dark Helmet, Moranis' homage to Darth Vader.

Visually, he looks ridiculous here, which is all part of the fun. But it's the lines that he manages to chuck out from underneath it that really ice this particular cake. "I bet she gives great helmet," he asides to a nurse at one point, or what about when he urges that light speed is not enough and, in fact, they need "ludicrous speed"?

The joy is that Lord Dark Helmet is perhaps the only villainous role that Moranis has really tackled in his career, and you can see the gusto a mile off. I have problems with the film as a whole, which I like but very much in a warts-and-all way. Moranis, and John Candy too, practically have me crying with laughter as soon as they appear, though...

5. Ghostbusters II

A much underrated sequel, and one that slightly expands the role of Louis Tully that Moranis portrayed in the original. Here, we first meet him defending the Ghostbusters in court, and it's a lovely comedic reintroduction to a character that Moranis seamlessly steps back into the shoes of.

He's still battling to get noticed in the ensemble crush here, but that's never been a problem in his career. And Ghostbusters II is also the film where Moranis gets to pull on the proton pack and attempt to go and save the day for the first time.

I love the fact that he's the man hailed as the hero by the collected crowd at the end of the film, too. If you're all alone in the neighbourhood, he might not be the first Ghostbuster you'd think of calling to the scene. But it's a lovely story choice to have him emerging as the man who appeared to have saved the day.

It's looking very unlikely that Moranis will be persuaded out of retirement for Ghostbusters III at the time of writing, and personally, I don't blame him for giving it a miss. It's hard to think, even if he was tempted to come back to acting, how Tully's character could end on a note higher than when we see him here.

4. Honey, I Shrunk The Kids

I'm happy to have this argument with anyone: Honey, I Shrunk The Kids is one of the best family films that the 1980s threw up. It's inventive, has characters you actually don't want to lose halfway through the movie, and employs effects and scale work in a way that solely helps the story.

And it's very much Moranis at the heart of it. Arguably, the only film he made that was heavily sold successfully with his name alone above the title (with the exception of the two sequels, which I'll come to momentarily), he's in full-on geek mode here, as Wayne Szalinski, the nerdy scientist who comes up with a contraption that ultimately shrinks his children down. This is then the platform for a really enjoyable adventure, with director Joe Johnston very much at the top of his game here.

So is Moranis, though, working not just opposite children (a difficult job for an actor in itself), but also convincingly dealing with working against the differing scales of the characters of the film, in more than one sense. He's the glue that holds a very strong film together.

The two sequels, sadly, never managed to capture the same magic, and instead followed obvious concept choices, yet never bothered to get the script right. Moranis battled gamely on, but he was on a losing battle in both cases.

3. Little Shop Of Horrors

You could rightly take us to task for not talking enough about the sublime 80s musical Little Shop Of Horrors on this scite. Given my personal professed love of the work of musical magicians Alan Menken and Howard Ashman, you can heap the shame in my direction.

Specifically for Rick Moranis, though, what Little Shop Of Horrors once more demonstrates (and we're coming to further examples), is just how well he can slot into a broad ensemble and still make an impact. In the film version of the musical (which is more different than people may appreciate from the stage original), Moranis gets the plum role of Seymour Krelborn, and it's his job to hold the story together. Not only is he expected to sing, but as the florist with the collection of plants you don't get from Interflora, you see much of what's going on through his eyes.

Moranis is up to the task, etching on screen one of his best performances, in a film that rightly gets re-spun time and time again. It's a tremendous, and generous, comedy performance. You can smell, even though it's not been announced, plans for a remake of Little Shop Of Horrors somewhere in the corridors of Hollywood (and don't quote me. I've no insider information there), but it's going to be a brave actor who tries to commit another take on Seymour to screen. Because Mr Moranis? He nailed it. Again.

2. Parenthood

What differentiates comedians in film, and comedy actors, is a role such as Parenthood. Because, for a comedy actor to really be able to work on screen across a breadth of roles, they have to have the acting chops to go with it. Adam Sandler, therefore, does, while someone like Martin Lawrence doesn't.

Rick Moranis does. And the restraint in playing the role of Nathan in Ron Howard's exceptional ensemble piece, Parenthood, leads to a scene-stealing performance. He's the embodiment of the modern parent in the film, bringing up his infant child to be a maths genius, and insisting to his wife that they leave sufficient time "between sibs". But where all his underplayed work in the early part of the film comes to life is in the exceptional sequence where he serenades his wife, to try and woo her back, with a dose of The Carpenters. In the wrong hands? It could have been a disaster. Moranis pitches it perfectly, and it's arguably his character, as a result, who makes the greatest progression throughout the film.

Moranis, not for the first time, is brilliant here (and always very likeable), but I'd argue it's rarely been harder to be so for him than in Parenthood. Because, simply, the rest of the cast fill so many of the other roles in the film, one or two of which on paper you might feel are better suited for Moranis. Yet, Nathan, I'd argue, is one of his finest cinematic creations, and possibly his best acting performance on screen.

1. Ghostbusters

It's perhaps inevitable that one of the finest comedies of the past 30 years tops the list here. What's impressive about Ghostbusters from Moranis' point of view, though, is the impact that he makes with quite a small role in the ensemble. We've already talked about Moranis in Ghostbusters II, where his role was broadened out, but here he has the job of having to punch above his weight to get noticed amongst a crowd of comedy talent.

He does. As Louis Tully, Moranis is on top form here, in a role that was originally intended for John Candy. Moranis takes it in a different direction than Candy would have done, though, taking a very nerdy approach to the character of Tully and ensuring that he'd be remembered long after the credits rolled. It's the facial expressions that Moranis manages to generate that always impress me here, and he's an excellent foil for Sigourney Weaver's Dana. I've always felt that Weaver has a natural talent for comedy that she's not employed enough, and I'd have been happy to see a Dana and Louis spin-off movie, myself.

However, for the purposes of here and now, Ghostbusters isn't just the best film that Moranis has made, it boasts one of his very best  performances, too. Truthfully, I might have put Parenthood top of the list if we were solely going on the Moranis factor, and not taking the quality of the films into account too. But for the winning mix of both criteria, Ghostbusters wins out...

And One Last Thing...

If you're wondering what Rick Moranis has been up to since he left the screen, might we suggest you check out his excellent album, Agoraphobic Cowboy? It's extremely good, and well worth a listen.

Agree? Disagree? Head to the comments below...

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You know where you are when you're up against Dracula. Grab yourself a crucifix or a stake and you've got a fighting chance. Likewise the Wolfman, if you can get hold of a silver bullet and a gun to fire it from. But what to do when faced with the lunacy that is Rasputin the Mad Monk? Well, to quote from a promotional poster advertising the film in 1966, "Disguise yourself from the forces of evil! Get your Rasputin beard free as you enter the theatre! Given to Guys and Gals alike!"

This delightful piece of advice is one of the many small nuggets of joy to be found in Marcus Hearn's latest foray into the history of Hammer films, The Art Of Hammer, a sumptuous collection of film posters that were used to promote the British studio's varied and prolific output from 1951 to 1979.

And quite the collection it is. If you're anything like me,this is one of those books that you'll caress and talk softly to as you gently turn the pages, smoothing each one down as you run your fingertips lightly over the images within. It's exactly the sort of book that you don't really want to pass to someone when they ask if they can have a look, for fear that they'll do that thing where they lick their fingertips prior to brutally turning each page as though they're trying to crack a whip. As with Hammer Glamour (and I'm aware that I speak as a Hammer nut here) Hearn has produced a thing of beauty.

The book consists mainly of reproductions of the posters themselves in chronological order, with occasional explanatory text highlighting some special significance pertaining either to the film or that particular version of its poster. The reproductions are big and bold affairs printed on high quality glossy paper in dimensions of 32cm x 25cm. With one page frequently dominated by one poster, it's an approach that really allows the artwork to make its full glorious impression. The colours are vivid and rich, while the replication of the tiniest details (such as minor film credits) is excellent.

It serves too as a remarkable visual history of the development of the Hammer product throughout this period. As you would expect, it is the horror and science fiction films that dominate, but there are also numerous examples of artwork for the adventure, comedy and war films the studio produced such as Men Of Sherwood Forest, On The Buses and The Camp On Blood Island. The latter is particularly interesting for anyone interested in the history of exploitation cinema, depicting as it does a bare-chested Japanese prison guard brandishing a sword with which he is about to execute a British prisoner of war, all under the tagline, "Jap War Crimes Exposed!". It's one of several posters (including UK promos for Plague Of The Zombies and The Revenge Of Frankenstein) that seem to anticipate and inform the style and sensationalism of the artwork for many of the early 80s video nasties and would not look out of place alongside posters for Cannibal Holocaust and Ilsa, She Wolf Of The SS.

But some of the real gems are the hand painted artworks created for films such as Quatermass And The Pit, The Devil Rides Out, and One Million Years B.C. Many of these were painted by Tom Chantrell, a commercial artist working for advertising firm Allardyce Palmer in Soho. They're often glorious explosions of colour packed with incident, and much of his best work for Hammer is featured in this book. Interestingly, his iconic poster for the UK release of Star Wars was the only one to feature Hammer star, Peter Cushing.

The book also illustrates the way in which film posters were used as marketing tools in an era that preceded the mass media that we're so familiar with today. Often the poster (along with the cinema trailer) was the primary means of reaching the audience and a plethora of superb taglines frequently implored the cinemagoer to step inside the lobby and buy a ticket. "See it with someone brave! A timeless terror to freeze you to your seat!" (from a 1957 Poster for The Abominable Snowman).

Indeed, another of the great joys of this book is in discovering such taglines as well as the alternate titles of many of the titles in foreign territories. Take, for example,e 1965's Fanatic or, as it was more spectacularly known in the United States, Die! Die! My Darling!. And, although many of these posters may have lost their ability to shock, in many cases the strength of their immediate visual impact is still undeniable, the early Dracula and Frankenstein posters being excellent examples.

This is by no means a comprehensive collection of Hammer artwork, but nor does it claim to be. As Hearn points out in his introduction, the majority of Hammer film posters prior to 1950 are virtually nonexistent. In fact, many of those included in the book are now rare enough to sell for thousands of pounds at auction, so preserving them in one central repository for the rest of us is a welcome move.

For anyone interested in film posters in general this would be a highly recommended book, but for fans of Hammer in particular it is essential. It is a beautiful collection of film art that brings to life once again the work and craft of a studio beloved by many.

The Art Of Hammer is out now and available from the Den Of Geek Store.

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There's been no shortage of trailers, posters and other promotional materials for Disney’s forthcoming Tron: Legacy over the past few months, and so far it’s all looked uniformly distinctive, exciting and luminous.

The third official trailer, which you can find below these very words, reveals a few more snippets of footage we haven’t yet seen, including the faintly spooky sight of a young, computer-generated Jeff Bridges, and retro television announcements of his character’s disappearance in the late 80s (we love that big grey suit he’s wearing as he gets out of the helicopter).

Random observation: check out Sam Flynn’s lightcycle duvet cover. We’d buy that for a dollar...

Tron: Legacy is due for release on 17 December.

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With just about every major conflict in US history now covered in exhaustive detail by the Call Of Duty series, you’d be forgiven for wondering just where Activision’s blockbuster shooter series could go next.

But according to reports arriving in the wake of Black Ops, the next installment could be about to go where no COD game has gone before - into the depths of space. Industry website Gamasutra has posted an article that suggests Sledgehammer - the studio headed up by former members of Dead Space developer, Visceral - will be developing a new Call Of Duty game over the next year or two.

With Modern Warfare 2 developers Infinity Ward left in a rather compromised state following the departures of two of its founder members, Vince Zampella and Jason West, Activision created Sledgehammer for the specific purpose of creating an “action-adventure” Call Of Duty videogame.

Gamasutra’s sources suggest that their COD game will be “set in the future” and feature “space marines”, while CVG reports that Activision has registered the domains "Call of Duty: Future Warfare, Advanced Warfare, Secret Warfare and Space Warfare".

If the rumours are true, it’s a huge departure for a series that has previously prided itself on historical accuracy, or at the very least a semblance of realism. Perhaps Sledgehammer is hoping to create an alternate universe 1969, where Neil Armstrong sets foot on the moon armed with a laser gun...

More news on Sledgehammer’s Call Of Duty entry as we get it.

Gamasutra
CVG

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2.9-10 Lost In Time

Unusually for the venerable Doctor Who spin-off, this adventure finds our core cast of characters drawn to a mysterious antique shop by the mysterious Shopkeeper (Cyril Nri) and his enigmatically named parrot, Captain.

In a storyline reminiscent of the late 70s Doctor Who extravaganza, The Key To Time, the Shopkeeper claims that lost in three separate time zones are three different artefacts, all made from the same time-sensitive metal, that could alter the course of history and destroy the Earth. To combat this, he sends Rani, Clyde and Sarah Jane back in time to 1553, 1941 and 1889, respectively, so that they can retrieve the artefacts and save the planet.

Wannabe reporter Rani finds herself in a situation where she's mistaken as the new lady in waiting for the newly crowned Queen of England, Lady Jane Grey. But this isn't just any day in the life of the royal court. No, this is, in fact, the day that Queen Jane is to be deposed as monarch by her cousin, (Bloody) Mary, and latterly executed as a traitor.

While Rani is up to her neck in Tudor politicking, Sarah Jane is stuck in a seemingly haunted house with a young paranormal investigator named Emily Morris. Although the voices and seeming haunting of the building is somewhat reminiscent of Phil Ford's The Eternity Trap from Series 3, this story adds its own unique quirk to proceedings by making the voices that are 'haunting' the house not voices from a distant past, but rather from the future.

Last, but by no means least, we have Clyde marooned back on the British coast circa 1941. Paired up with young evacuee George, Clyde and his new companion are soon the only line of defence against a secret Nazi incursion onto British soil that finds Hitler's forces about to unleash their ‘ultimate weapon', an anti-radar device, which is seemingly powered by the same time-element that the Shopkeeper warned them about.

So far, so exciting...

Coming directly after the seemingly tired and predictable The Empty Planet, Laight's script is a subtle, surprising and ambitious story, which is expertly and sensitively directed by series regular Joss Agnew, who manages to create believable Tudor, Victorian and WW2 settings on a CBBC budget

In terms of the narrative, the splitting of the story into multiple time zones is a highly effective device, which gives the episode a natural momentum and pace, but which also shows an ambition and maturity in Laight's writing that wouldn't be out of place in the parent show. The way he deftly weaves plot strands in this episode is slightly reminiscent of Steven Moffat's work, but also (thanks, mainly, to one rather fantastic mobile fan gag), has more than a slight hint of the anarchy that typifies some of Russell T Davies' best writing.

So far, Joseph Lidster has been the most impressive new writer to emerge via SJA, but on this evidence, Laight is already nipping at Lidster's heels and, if anything, I would have to say that the way Laight writes the emotional lives of the characters is far more effective.

While Lidster writes with an admirable sense of earnestness and conviction, sometimes those virtues can spill over into mawkishness. To be fair to Lidster, that wasn't the case with his rather sublime The Nightmare Man script earlier this season, but it's an accusation that can definitely be levelled at his scripts for both Series 2 and 3.

In comparison, Laight, in both this and Series 3's The Gift, manages quite expertly to balance the emotional storylines against the action/plot elements. The strand featuring Rani and Lady Jane Grey is especially affecting, as it's tempered with the knowledge that the teenage monarch's fate is both tragic and unalterable. In its own modest way, this segment of the story is reminiscent of Richard Curtis' sublime Vincent And The Doctor, and again shows how effectively the production team have managed to tonally sync up the spin-off with its regenerated parent show.

If Rani's is the most affecting section of the story, then Clyde's battle with the distinctly Raiders Of The Lost Ark-style Nazis has to be the most entertaining. There's a real pace and brio to this section, with some good gags on offer, a neat little hint at the Nazi's racial politics (quite daring for a CBBC show, but good to see!) and finds Clyde defiantly evoking his British heritage in the face of Hitler's troops.

Slightly less successful than intended (and, for my money, the one weak spot in the episode) is the 1889 section with Sarah Jane and young ghost hunter Emily. There's some nice elements in this strand and Lis Sladen once again gives a strong performance as Sarah Jane, but the emotional ‘beat' of Emily being unable to accept the loss of a loved one is a bit ‘been there, seen it, done it' for the show and feels like something of a missed opportunity.

However, despite these few nitpicks, the ultimate pay-off to this strand, and the episode as a whole, is a neat little twist that brings past and present together effectively and manages to be both narratively and emotionally satisfying.

Lost In Time is ultimately yet another terrific story in this already very strong season that can legitimately lay claim to being one of the best stories produced in SJA's history. Coming after The Nightmare Man and Death Of The Doctor that's no mean feat. Here's hoping next week's finale maintains the generally excellent standard that this season has managed to achieve.

Read our review of the episodes 7 & 8, The Empty Planet, here.

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There's not long to go now until the Strause brothers' Skyline finally appears in cinemas, and we're genuinely looking forward to the unearthly delights it has to offer. Much has been made of the directors' involvement with the debacle that was Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem, but Skyline's independent movie status makes it a more promising movie than the Strause's track record might suggest.

At the very least, we know that Skyline will look fantastic. The directors are well known for their special effects work on movies such as Avatar, and the promo footage we've seen looks great, if bearing more than a passing resemblance to certain sci-fi console shooters.

Our interview with Colin Strause and Liam O'Donnell also reveals a genuine enthusiasm for the film, and even hints that there's an interesting twist to the tale.

Skyline is out in cinemas on Friday. In the meantime, enjoy the four shiny new promo clips we have for you below...

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History has already demonstrated that Dune films are nigh-on impossible to make. From Alejandro Jodorowsky's doomed (and spectacular-sounding) attempt to bring Frank Herbert's sprawling sci-fi story to the screen in the 70s, to the commercial flop that was David Lynch's movie that ultimately appeared in 1984, you'd be forgiven for thinking that any attempt to make a further Dune film would amount to financial suicide.

But despite its financial failure, there were inarguably some quite brilliant moments in Lynch's Dune, in spite of its flaws, and there's potentially enough dramatic material in Herbert's novels to make an entire series of films.

Yet, the latest news from the US indicates that even the most recent attempts to again adapt Dune for the big screen have been beset with difficulties. According to Deadline, the project's latest director, Pierre Morel, who previously helmed such films as Taken and From Paris With Love, has recently quit.

Morel follows in the footsteps of the project's last director, Peter Berg, who bowed out of the production some time ago to direct an adaptation of the board game Battleship.

This leaves Paramount's adaptation of Dune hanging in the balance, and unless a replacement director can be found soon, the studio may yet be forced to cut its losses and cancel the movie altogether.

The rights holders have given Paramount until next spring to organise a firm shoot date for the picture, and are unwilling to provide the studio with another extension.

More news on Paramount's Dune adaptation as we get it.

Deadline

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We’re half way through the series, I figured, and Baron von Sugar still hasn’t gone to dig them all out of bed yet. Ah, my fears were allayed. “Lord Sugar is waiting for us downstairs”, came the call. Down they all came, like the cast of Trumpton, to be told they were advertising a cleaning product.

This, I thought, was good. Advertising tasks make a nice change from the bellowing-like-a-market-trader episodes of The Apprentice. And it does seem to actually test something other than an ability to flog stuff. Be careful what you wish for, however, is a wise prophecy.

Project managers? Alex thinks outside of the box, he said. He does something with orange apples, or something. He gave one of those suicidal vox pops where he buffed his ego. It was his turn in more ways than one, we were left to conclude.

Also giving a silly vox pop was Christopher, the other team leader. He was a marine, and was thus off to shoot everyone. Something like that, anyway. He, crucially, got Nick following him too. The same Nick who wanted last week’s task back. That much was clear.

Alex quickly vetoed The Germ-O-Nator as a product name, instead leaning towards Helping Hand. His team was swiftly divided. The prospects continued to look grim. The Germ-O-Nator would be back, I swiftly concluded.

Market research , meanwhile, took place at a mother and toddler group, and one of the mums there came up with an idea for an octopus-named product. Christopher was very keen, made the call, although part of his team didn’t like it. Joanna in particular wasn’t keen, and the arse-covering to-camera piece followed.

Alex’s team were still brand name hunting, though, leaving Karren Brady skulking around the corridors of Asda. Laura, then, came up with The Blitz. Alex nearly cried. Chris, therefore, moved in with The Germ-O-Nator once more, and put his neck on the line. Even though the market research suggested this was not a good name.

The design brief followed, then. This is always fun, because you get to work out which designer looks the most pissed off with the team behind them. It was a score draw here. Octi-Kleen, instantly, looked like a kids’ drink to me, while The Germ-O-Nator bottle looked, er, fairly terrible. And Laura correctly raised the fact that the product had to be kept out of the reach of children, yet it was a child that was being featured in the advert. Alex overruled her. The programme editor was pointing us in a very pronounced direction here.

That direction was cemented further when the product designs came in. Both were terrible. One looked too child-friendly, the other just looked awful. However! This was, as the Baron had pointed out, an advertising task. The golden rule of Apprentice past? Feature the product lots of times. That is the law. As it turned out, that was the least of the problems.

Octi-Kleen, mind you, was a terrible looking product, but at least the radio advert were fairly solid. Meanwhile, for the Octi-Kleen TV advert, Nick appeared to have woken up. It appeared that he was approving of Christopher’s choice of wife, although he did then did a rant to camera about stereotyping women. I noted he didn’t have such comments to make last week, but Christopher soon addressed Nick’s concern, by dressing his ‘wife’ up as an octopus. You can't say he doesn't act on feedback.

But heck, at least they hadn’t cast a child, one who was holding the product he wasn’t allowed, according to the label, to hold. In fact, the kid was The Germ-O-Nator of the advert, stepping through a smoky kitchen, and surely leading Alex to a showdown with Baron von Sugar. It couldn't go any other way.

Never mind cutting to shots of Nick cringing at Christopher’s outdated commercial, and bad gags about eight hands being better than two. Christopher was surely safe because he at least stayed within the rules and regs of the product. He didn't do well. But he wisely stayed more towards mediocre, as opposed to outright terrible.

Onto the pitch, then. Laura spent ages preparing a pitch, and Alex promptly appointed Sandeesh to do it. By this time, to be fair, he may as well have stripped stark bollock naked from what I could see. The man was doomed. And Laura was pissed off. “Have you ever seen me this pissed off?”, she ranted. Well, yes. Quite regularly, from what I can tell.

The pitch was to marketing experts, and you could see the car crash coming a mile off. In fact, I spent the next five minutes cringing like I’d never cringed before. “Hasta la vista, gravy”, and comparing a product to e-coli? Or saying it’s like an ugly man? Crikey.

How could it get worse, I wondered? I didn’t have long to wait. Octi-Kleen. Eight handed women. “If only I was an octopus”? Sheesh. “Oct-Kleen! It gets you a shag in the evening” was the theme I saw developing. “We didn’t want to focus on the octopus”, insisted Christopher to the executives. Yikes.

I usually complain that the task bit doesn’t make enough of the episode, but here, I was cringing so much that I was glad they called it a day. I’d have been happy with a shorter episode and a couple of Tom & Jerry cartoons by this point. Bluntly, it looked like neither side was going to win. Multiple firings? It was impossible to rule it out. But that wasn't how it turned out.

Up came Alex’s Germ-O-Nator first, and the Baron liked the name, not the execution. With Octi-Kleen, meanwhile, he took little time discovering that the advert was something off Nick’s DVD shelf. “You were all over it like a tramp on chips”, said Nick of the choice of name. He’s had better lines than the Baron this series.

So the result? Christopher’s team prevailed, but only just. Alex? It seemed he may as well call his taxi there and then. The Baron chucked out another bad line, this time about Psycho, and then we had to sit through the crappy treat. Yawn, yawn, yawn. For added torture, said treat featured bad singing. Crikey.

The cringing continued as Baron von Sugar's scriptwriters got worse. His Titanic line was a genuine contender for worse line of the series. But there's been lots of competition.

The final showdown saw Alex, Sandeesh and Chris. Alex was given lots of camera time to shout and rant and stuff, but this was surely the most obvious firing of all time. And had been since five minutes into the episode.

Still, they strung it out for a bit, trying to inject tension that wasn't there, before the obvious happened. Bye, bye Alex. Don't let the door hit your backside on the way out. "It is with regret", bullshitted The Baron, as his pointed his firing finger at Alex. I should point out that the editors of the programme did Alex few favours here, as he had come across as a decent bloke until he found himself in the programme's crosshairs. The post-firing comments in the boardroom certainly didn't reflect the programme beforehand.

A very traditional episode of the show, in all. But heck, for cringe television, it's had no equal in some time...

Read our review of the fifth episode here.

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