Supernatural season six could potentially be the most interesting season to date. If you're not familiar with the series, it centres around two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester who hunt demons, monsters, ghouls, ghosts and pretty much all things supernatural. You see what they did there?

Sam and Dean were raised to be hunters by their father, who was also a hunter. When season one started, the boy's father was missing and Sam was at college after turning his back on the family business, so to speak, and trying to live a life of normality when his girlfriend is killed by a demon.

Not just any demon. It's a demon who also visited Sam when he was a baby and killed the boy's mother. This brought Sam and Dean back together and the trail of finding their father also became the hunt for that demon.

As the story progresses it is revealed that Sam isn't quite human and has been tainted with demon blood. The hunt and final showdown with this demon takes us up to the end of season three. Along the way we are introduced to other hunters, most notably Bobby, a grouchy old friend of their father, and Ellen and her daughter, Jo. The season ends with Dean dragged to Hell after making a deal with a demon.

Season four had a new twist. We'd seen all manner of bad guys, vampires, werewolves, vengeful spirits and demons. We were then introduced to some new good guys, angels. Now, when I say good guys, it really isn't that simple.

The season started with Dean being dragged out of Hell and soon reunited with Sam, who had been on a downward spiral, becoming addicted to demon blood to make himself stronger. They were soon joined by Castiel, an angel, who revealed the demons have a plan: to release Lucifer himself from imprisonment and let him lay waste to Heaven and Earth. The season ended with the cage open and Lucifer out.

Season five was going to be Supernatural's last season. The season started and you, the viewer, really didn't know how it was going to end and who would be left standing, and potentially, nobody could have been.

Sam was revealed to be a vessel, a body that can host an angel, and a vessel for not just any angel, but Lucifer himself. Dean, in turn, was revealed to be a vessel for Michael, God's strongest angel.

The season ended with Sam leaping back into the cage with Lucifer trapped inside him. The final scene was Dean seeking solace in a normal life with a former love, Lisa, and her child. As they settle down together, Sam is revealed outside watching...

And so we come to season six. Supernatural as a show has always been very good. The two leads, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki are accomplished in the roles they play and the series has always carried itself with a wry sense of humour.

The show's creator, Eric Kripke, left the show at the end of season five, handing over the reins to Sera Gamble. It is said that Kripke will still be involved with the show, but Gamble will be handling the day to day running of the show. That means, with someone new at the helm, the show almost has a blank slate to do anything it wants.

Come September 24th, I'm looking forward to finding out.

Friends, we come together in a time of crisis. And it's one that we must all shoulder our share of the burden in resolving. For in America right now, there's a man who was once a pioneer of cinema, someone who gave us films that we cherish, a man whose influence over film will be felt for all time.

And that man, we learn, is in poverty. He's on the breadline, and unable to fund the very basic things in life.

That man is George Lucas.

George's tale is a heartbreaking one. Born in 1944, George spent his early years experimenting and making little films, scrimping and saving to invest in his hobby. Eventually, George would get the chance to make some of the most acclaimed movies of our time. American Graffiti and THX 1138 are too often forgotten as the terrific movies that they are, while Star Wars has resonated with many of us over the years. It was a moving tale of rags to riches.

Yet, like many artistic geniuses, George has fallen upon tough times.

And it came to a head last weekend, when it was confirmed that George would be releasing his Star Wars films onto the Blu-ray format in 2011. This should have been good news, a high point in his career, something for us all to cherish.

And yet, he also revealed a dark secret. For he said that it'd only be the special edition versions of the original trilogy that would be coming to Blu-ray. "It's a very, very expensive process to do it," he said of the idea of bringing the original cuts to high definition.

In short, George can't afford to put the original cuts out.

Let's not forget, friends, that George has been facing fiscal issues for some time. The DVD releases of the original Star Wars cuts only came in non-anamorphic widescreen, and with a 2.0 surround sound audio track. They had to be sourced from old laserdisc transfers. Back then, it was too expensive to do anything else too.

There's only one logical conclusion we can draw from all of this. George has run out of money.

Den Of Geek, therefore, has no intention of crossing the road and ignoring a friend in need. And thus, we're launching our George Lucas In Need appeal. Because it's not fair that George should suffer, wondering where his next meal is coming from. It's not fair that he shouldn't be able to afford to fund the Blu-ray release of the original versions of his films. George deserves better than that.

In a world where Psycho can look strong in high definition, and many films from the 1960s onwards have enjoyed a quality Blu-ray upgrade, it's simply not fair that George is left out. Something has to be done.

Back in 2006, George was reported to be worth $3.5bn by Forbes. Clearly, this report must have been wildly inaccurate, as if he had that amount of money available, he would be able to afford to get the work on the Star Wars movies done. Heck, if he had that much money, he'd be able to afford the restoration work himself, and wouldn't need us to help! The fools. Forbes must feel very silly, and we trust it will correct its woefully inaccurate story now that the tale of George's plight has come to light.

From talking to a few people in the industry, assuming that George had access to the necessary equipment to master a Blu-ray release (if it's not been repossessed by the finance company, because he fell behind on the repayments), he could be facing a bill of as much as £1m - if not more - to restore the original cuts of the Star Wars movies, and put them out in high definition. It's simply not fair that George should have to fund that himself. What if people don't buy the discs once he's done all that hard work too? People just don't think about that, and they really should.

Bluntly, we all need to do our bit. And it's with that in mind that Den Of Geek is proud to launch its new fundraising campaign. Entitled George Lucas In Need, we're hoping that many of you will do your bit for this very worthy cause. Individually, there may not be much we can do to right this wrong, but collectively, we just might be able to. It has to be worth a try. We simply can't let George suffer.

If you're wondering how you can do your bit to raise money for our George Lucas In Need appeal, then why not consider some of the following ideas?

• Hold a casual dress day in your office. For added fun, why not have some people dress up as characters from Star Wars, like these convincing people here? Just collect £1 off everyone, and we'll already be on the way to reaching our target. Just imagine the fun you could have!

• How about holding a charity auction? That could be such fun. You could dig out all of your old Star Wars toys from the 80s and sell them. Some of them might even raise as much as £5! But don't worry: your money really does count. Every penny really matters.

• Collect bottle tops. By our calculations, we need around 100 million to get all three films restored. We must be able to do that between us. Perhaps we should all have an extra bottle of pop today, too. It's not too much to ask, is it?

• And here's some great fundraising news already. It's terrific, friends, to see that we're not alone in our quest. We've got word that some in the music world are busy putting together a special fundraising concert for George, which we're promised will include singing celebrities as varied as The Jonas Brothers, Paris Hilton and Margarita Pracatan.
  
  Ticket details are set to be released shortly, and we're proud to be the first to bring you a look at the cover of the eventual CD release. It'll be an ideal Christmas present for your family and friends, and it's all for a great cause.

The important thing is that we all do our bit. George has never asked anything of us, and he isn't asking now. But it's our duty to help him. And if you have any fundraising ideas, please add them in the comments. Every little really does help.

As you can see from our totaliser in the top right of the page, we've got a long way to go. But every journey starts somewhere.

George, we're here for you. We hear your pain, and feel your financial suffering.

We will help you, George. Always.

Now that the summer season is finally drawing to a close, with just Piranha 3D and the UK release of Scott Pilgrim Vs The World to go, the attention is slowly shifting towards what's coming next. And this means that a few lesser known projects are getting to step into the limelight.

One of those is Vanishing On 7th Street, a movie starring Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton and John Leguizamo. It's been directed by Brad Anderson, who was previously responsible for Session 9 and Transsiberian (and was linked with Paranormal Activity 2 once upon a time, if memory serves), and while no release date is yet known, we do have a trailer.

That trailer reveals that it's a mixture of horror and suspense that we're promised, and the premise is certainly interesting (there's a little bit of I Am Legend/The Omega Man in there). For it's about a group of survivors in an empty city who take refuge from a mysterious and presumably quite unpleasant threat.

Take a look at the promo yourself and see what you think, and we'll keep you posted on anything else we find out.

Believe some of the stories circulating, and Little Fockers is a project in no small amount of trouble. A month or so ago, stories emerged that a number of reshoots were planned on the film, which, in itself, is nothing spectacularly out of the ordinary.

However, the difference here is that it was reported that Dustin Hoffman was being wooed back to reprise the role that he played in Meet The Fockers, and that, basically, rather than a straight reshoot, a new part was being added to the film.

It's still on course for a December release, and there's every chance that it'll come through what sounds like a troubled production with a decent film intact.

This new international trailer for the film plays heavily on the name ‘Focker' for it's jokes, and we might be wrong, but isn't that a line from Gigli they've inserted in there? And, for the Brits out there, that whole ‘watching you, watching me' moment could have been written by the mighty Chuckle Brothers themselves.

Take a look and see what you think. And the film is out on 22nd December...

Any kind of intelligent critical analysis of Deep Blue Sea is, not to put too fine a point on it, a waste of everyone's time. Perhaps that's why I've ended up - by request - with the review disc of the Blu-ray release. Because, for me, this is one of a series of movies that director Renny Harlin made that I'd happily watch time and time again.

Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger, I'd argue, may not have been the peak of the action genre, but they're still highly enjoyable movies in their own right. Although, ironically, I warmed less to what many find his best film, the union of Samuel L Jackson and Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight.

Samuel L Jackson memorably appears here too in Deep Blue Sea, as one of the bunch of baffled actors who gamely go through the motions, pretending everything they're talking about is deathly serious. Saffron Burrows, Stellan Skarsgard, LL Cool J, Michael Rapaport and Thomas Jane all play along too, and their commitment to the material is ultimately to the benefit of the film.

For even though its premise, of genetically modified sharks in generally a bloody bad mood, is one you can drive holes through, the film was and is a blast. It's a well-made blast, too, with a couple of really quite impressive moments that stick in mind.

The main one is the surprise disposal of one of the key characters, but I also really warmed to the whole Jurassic Shark-esque premise, with the sharks testing the limits of their containment. Plus, you can't beat the moment when Stellan Skargard's arm comes off either. That's cinema gold right there.

You can call Deep Blue Sea whatever you like. For some it might be a guilty pleasure, for some it might be terrible, for others it might just be an excuse to spend a really entertaining night in front of the telly. I'm closer to the latter camp, even accepting that Deep Blue Sea is derivative, and not shy of problems.

But, for me at least, it is hugely entertaining, and I'm pleased to see it chosen for a high definition upgrade.

The Disc

It's not been a bad choice for HD either, particularly by the standards of catalogue releases. I warmed to the Blu-ray transfer a lot, finding it clean, a genuine improvement over the DVD, and holding the bright colour palette of the film very well, indeed. The sharks still look odd, and adding more picture resolution to them doesn't help their cause. But I don't have a problem with that.

The sound mix is pretty good too, with enough surround oomph and punch to keep your speakers busy for the best part of two hours.

The extra features are all portovers from the DVD release. The commentary with Samuel L Jackson and Renny Harlin is certainly worth a listen (for more reasons than one, as it turns out), and then there's a handful of featurettes and deleted scenes, which weren't that interesting a decade ago, and time has not been kind.

But it is has been to the film itself. Back when I first saw it in 1999, I marked Deep Blue Sea down as a flawed movie, but an absolute hoot to watch. I maintain that opinion absolutely stands as the movie makes its Blu-ray bow, and I look forward to spinning the new disc as often as I did the DVD.

The Movie:
The Disc:

Deep Blue Sea is out now on Blu-ray and available from the Den Of Geek Store.

EA's long-running racing franchise Need For Speed may have had its ups and downs over the years, but the series is experiencing something of a renaissance of late, with the three pronged onslaught of NFS: Shift last September, the MMO NFS: World, which went live last month, and finally, the forthcoming NFS: Hot Pursuit, which is due to arrive this November.

Readers with a keen memory will recall that Need For Speed games with the suffix Hot Pursuit have appeared before, and this 2010 iteration aims to reproduce the same high-speed police chases of those earlier titles.

What's most exciting about Hot Pursuit is the fact that its developer is none other than Criterion, the studio behind the magnificent Burnout series. And from the latest trailer you can see here, the same dizzying turn of speed that distinguished the Burnout games is all over Hot Pursuit, along with plenty of crashes and numerous ways to knock your opponents out of contention.

Positively received at this year's E3 expo, and even managing to whisk the Best Racing Game critics' award away from its most obvious competitor, Gran Turismo 5, Hot Pursuit is looking like a particularly promising racer, and one that may be able to help us get over our addiction to Black Rock's excellent Split Second: Velocity...

Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit is due for release on 19 November for PlayStation 3, Windows, Wii, and Xbox 360.

It's not really a huge surprise that LucasArts opted to do a special edition of Monkey Island 2: Lechuck's Revenge. The special edition of The Secret Of Monkey Island was a huge success across all platforms when it was released last year, so it made sense for them to drag Monkey Island 2 kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

Ask anyone who was old enough to be playing videogames in the 90s, and you'll find there's a standard answer for their favourite adventure game: Monkey Island 2. I first got my hands on the first two games in the series in 1997, when a friend lent me a CD-ROM copy of them. I was eleven years old, and still, for the last thirteen years, I find myself returning to them at least every couple of years.

Much like The Simpsons, Monkey Island had humour that is both hilarious to adults and children, and also timeless.

These days, sequels are, regrettably, sometimes just a rehash of the original game with a few new game mechanics in there to keep things fresh enough. Monkey Island 2 kept the spirit and the humour of the first game, but was a far bigger game. In the time it took to dissolve LeChuck into a root beer grave in the first game, you'll have barely scratched the surface in the second one.

This special edition version of the game is definitely the definitive one. With the surprisingly jaw dropping HD graphics, and the return of original voice cast, you'll rarely switch to the original game (but it's still nice to have the option).

One big change from the first special edition is the new interface. Instead of controlling Guybrush using the classic ‘point and click' interface (which is still there, if you don't like the new one), you move Guybrush using the analogue stick, if you're playing the XBLA version.

The triggers bring up the menus in a fashion not completely different from the third game, The Curse Of Monkey Island. At first, this can be a little fiddly, but it works pretty well once you get used to it. It gets a little in the way in some places, though, particularly at the start of the game in Woodtick.

One particularly enjoyable aspect of the new version of this classic game is the use of a voice cast. The cast are the same as the one that has been used throughout the series, but they really help the characters come to life. For the most part, it sounds like the cast had a great time recording the dialogue, and Dominic Armato (as Guybrush) deserves some sort of medal for getting through that ‘How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood' scene near the start of the game.

The only real criticism is that Alexandra Boyd wasn't a particularly good choice for Elaine. She makes Elaine sound more mumsy than heroic, and her lines feel stilted at times. Fortunately, as the rest of the cast do such a stand up job, this doesn't undermine the game and won't stop your enjoyment of it for a moment.

It's clear that a lot of love has gone into making this new version of the game possible. Sometimes just hitting the back button (if you're playing the XBLA version, like I was) to study the differences between the original game and the new version can be extremely satisfying. LucasArts really has pulled out all the stops in ensuring that we all get a very solid update of the game.

The new version of the soundtrack is particularly enjoyable, with real instruments taking over from the iMUSE engine in the original game. The jokes have all held up excellently, and despite having heard them all dozens of times, I still found myself laughing at them all again.

A lot of fans of the series felt that this game should have been the last, as the ending was very final and to make any more felt like a bit of a cop out. This is a fair point as it was the final game in the series that had Tim Schafer at the helm. However, the series has managed to remain strong and if we were to get a nice shiny HD version of The Curse Of Monkey Island next year, I doubt many people would complain.

If you consider yourself a fan of great stories and great games, then you owe it yourself to play this, whether it's the first time (and if it is, you are very lucky) or it is the tenth. At such a low price, and on just about every platform going, this special edition of Monkey Island 2 is absolutely essential for everyone.

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Special Edition is available to download now for PS3, iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, Windows, and Xbox 360.

Back in March of this year, I was sent to cover an adaptation of the first part of Stieg Larsson's Millennium series, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I remember it well because Mark Kermode sat next to me.

Anyway, at the time, the books were starting to gather momentum, threatening to snowball into the biggest publishing phenomenon since the world went gaga for the moony vampires of Twilight. Six months later and that possibility has become a reality. I must see about three or four people daily, reading the books on crowded buses and tubes around London.

The cinematic version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo left me a bit cold. It was undoubtedly a classy piece of work, with a great central character in Lisbeth Salander and nice flip on the classic ‘genius/sociopathic detective with phlegmatic sidekick' archetypes.  However, it was still a pretty generic thriller with some ropey plot holes and ponderous pacing. Definitely not, for me, the five star masterpiece lavished with critical acclaim from all and sundry.  In fact, I believe David Fincher will probably better tell the story with the aid of some Hollywood gloss, but I digress.

The Girl Who Played With Fire picks up the story a year after the events of Dragon Tattoo. Noomi Rapace and Michael Nyqvist reprise their roles as Salander and Mikael Blomkvist, respectively. While Swedish director Daniel Alfredson takes over from Niels Arden Oplev.

Salander has been travelling the world on a fraudulent fortune, but for some (not very well explained) reason decides that now is the time to return to Stockholm from the Caribbean. Blmokvist, meanwhile, is still ruffling feathers with his hard-hitting magazine, Millennium. When a young journalist, Dag, approaches the mag with an expose on human trafficking and prostitution in Sweden, Blomkvist quickly agrees to publish.

This links back to one of the most intriguing and disturbing aspects of Dragon Tattoo, Salander's unexplored back story alluding to a lifetime of abusive social care and the sadistic perversions of her current guardian, Bjurman. Indeed, one of Lisbeth's first visits is to Bjurman, who wakes up to a gun in his face and threats from Lisbeth reminding him she has not forgotten about him. 

When both Dag, his girlfriend and Bjurman are all executed in quick succession - with Lisbeth's fingerprints on the gun - Salander soon becomes the prime suspect in a triple murder case. Blomkvist, still infatuated by her anarchic genius, sets out to prove that she isn't the murderer and uncover the truth about the prostitution ring, twin stories that soon become intertwined.

This a bleak film, framed against the perma-grey of urban sprawl that seems to add to the claustrophobic atmosphere. While Arden Oplev used the icy whiteout of the Scandinavian wilderness to great affect in Dragon Tattoo, here the majority of the action is set in Stockholm. Also, this is much more of a thriller than a whodunnit, mirroring the tenacious fact finding of investigative journalism more than Sherlock Holmes-esque supersluthing. These elements combine to create a less escapist atmosphere than before.

Once again, Noomi Rapace is the standout as Salander. The recently cast Rooney Mara has a serious job on her hands trying to top Rapace's performance in the English language remakes. 

The Girl Who Played With Fire's best scene, by a country mile, sees Salander suspend one of the human trafficker's henchmen from the ceiling of his home and threaten to zap him with a taser until he hangs himself through his own convulsions, her face, inexplicably, covered up with Joker-esque grease paint. She is androgynous and sexually predatory, fiercely independent but scared and delicate, a complex and nuanced character that represents ‘role of a lifetime' territory for any actor.

However, the film can't escape its staid plot, which is, unfortunately, not very interesting. The gripping prostitution thread becomes little more than a sub strand of a greater conspiracy, and one that feels overly contrived by the time the big reveals come into play. And Salander's refusal to work with Blomkvist, the one man with any clout fighting in her corner, is never justified by anything more than a ‘Well, that's just Lisbeth' cover-up. 

The novels now have such a grip over popular culture that this film is bound to be greeted by a chorus of critical praise on release. But it is nowhere near the league of Dragon Tattoo, which was, itself, a tad over-rated in my opinion.

The Girl Who Played With Fire is equally well written, acted and shot, technically admirable in every respect. But it is also rather soulless. Mark Kermode wasn't at the screening this time either.

"I want to know about magic!" cried the little boy as he put the dollars he'd saved up on the counter of the box office booth outside the old movie theatre in middle-of-nowhere, backwoods, Midwest USA. "Well sonny," said the crusty, yet kindly old man with a beaming and benevolent smile, "today's your lucky day. Y'see we got these Harry Potter movies a-playin' and they're all about the magic..."

"Jeepers oh boy gosh darn!" yelped the kid, and with the ticket stub between his fingers he raced into the auditorium and filled his febrile mind with thoughts of flying owls, juvenile wizards and transfiguration spells.

His world was alive with magic. His heart was full of joy and his tongue fizzed with accio charms. He knew that from that day he wouldn't rest until he'd joined the ranks of the characters on screen and was heading to Hogwarts to make his way as a muggle-born wizard.

Sadly, upon returning to his home in the trailer park, life took a nasty turn. His gran beat him for stealing her spectacles and his twenty-five brothers and sisters gave him a kicking every time he waved a pencil in the air and shouted "wingardium leviosa".

Things got really tragic when he grabbed a penknife and cut a lightning bolt scar into his forehead. His parents took him to a doctor who dosed him up to his eyeballs with Ritalin and Thalidomide and packed him off to the self-harm and psychosis unit at the Damien Thorn Facility for Troubled Children in Nebraska.

The moral of the story is this: Harry Potter is bad for your health. The book-burning religious fundamentalists were right all along. Behind the scar and the glasses is a black abyss of devilry and danger that will poison and destroy your children. It's false magic that will only warp young minds and make them do silly things, like dress up as a Quidditch star and hang around bookshops at midnight.

If you want to know about real magic, you'll have to look elsewhere. Genuine paranormal power isn't about golden snitches or summoning broomsticks. Au contraire, it involves more serious stuff like blood oaths, spiritual possession and communion with nature.

Proper magick is done to ensure a good harvest, bring fertility, communicate with 'the great beyond' and manipulate the essential elements of the earth. Harry Potter is only interested in cheap party tricks to pick up chicks.

For a more effective source of immense magical wisdom, I'd suggest that you either meditate on Gandalf's beard and hope it reveals something profound, or watch the kind of old-school horror flicks where Christopher Lee has a big house in which people draw pentacles in the attic or sacrifice virgins in the basement. (That's called making the most of the space.)

Otherwise, you're going to have to visit the abandoned sections of libraries and rare book stores to find medieval witchcraft texts like the Malleus Malleficarum or Burchard Of Worms's Corrector And Doctor. They're entertaining, enlightening and I recommend them as bedtime reading.

These eldritch tomes were written to warn readers of the dangers of witchcraft and put the fear of God into the masses. Paradoxically, they manage to do the opposite and act as instruction manuals to all kinds of delightful shenanigans. They're the perfect foundations on which to build a new wave of historically-set horror cinema.

Having seen Black Death at the cinema earlier this year, I'm thirsty for more period thrillers dabbling with dark/paranormal matter. I'm imagining potboilers with thesps like Ian McKellen acting as narrator-cum-inquisitorial-voice-of-damnation barking at the viewer over shots of grim swamps and thatched hovels bathed in mist.

"Have you done what some women do?" asks Gandalf over the opening of the adaptation of Corrector And Doctor (retitled What Witchy Women Want to sound snappier on the marketing material). "They lie face down on the ground, uncover their buttocks, and tell someone to make bread on their naked buttocks."

That's a genuine extract from the text and the beginning of a method to make husbands "more ardent in their love". What Burchard of Worms tells female magic practitioners to do with a fish in order to secure the affections of the opposite sex is too extreme to be printed here. All I'll say is that even Helen Mirren would hesitate to strip off and shoot it. An X-rated certificate is likely and animal rights groups won't be impressed.

Because Disney doesn't do nudity and unorthodox sex rituals involving seafood, the archaic sources of olde-fashioned mystic wisdom are no good for the mainstream family demographic that buy Harry Potter DVDs. It's understandable, therefore, that the House of Mouse chose to make The Sorcerer's Apprentice to spread sparks over the summer multiplex. I completely approve. The movie's a lot of fun and does an excellent job of representing the spirit and tradition of magic.

Oh, eager children of the land itching to enchant and conjure, The Sorcerer's Apprentice will definitely help you more on the road to sorcery success than the 'Assorted Every-Flavour Adventures of Ronald Weasley's Best Mate' will.

In part, it's thanks to the quirk, strangeness and charm of Nicolas Cage, ever-reliable as an educational screen icon. Accept him as your teacher, kids. He's shown you how to be a good-hearted babysnatcher (Raising Arizona) and tutored you in the art of suicidal alcoholism (Leaving Las Vegas). He's taught you how to be a good bad cop (Bad Lieutenant) and raised you to be a ruthless costumed vigilante assassin of vengeful design (Kick-Ass). Trust in the man now riding a steel eagle across the New York skyline, and the power of Merlin shall be yours.

The movie also links 'magic' to science and age-old intellectual culture instead of pooh-poohing it as 'childish' fantasy, which is more reasonable than ridiculing it as silly buggers comparing wand sizes. As a motion picture, it does positive work for subject matter threatened in the oh-so-serious modern world and captures the imagination.

I'm also willing to bet that if that little boy had seen The Sorcerer's Apprentice that day, he'd have learned the true power of magic and been able to employ it before they incarcerated him in the asylum.

It's a nice introductory text for aspiring wizards before they get to the more hardcore dark matter encoded in the thick and esoteric high-brow literature. I just hope that in The Sorcerer's Apprentice 2, Nic Cage doesn't take his disciple Dave to the fish market.

James' previous column can be found here.

You can find movie-related comic strips by James Clayton at  reeldisappointing.tumblr.com/

Never one to shy away from potentially controversial targets for his own brand of mordant wit, writer and director Chris Morris has tackled the decidedly thorny issue of terrorism in his first feature, Four Lions.

Infamous for his bizarre radio shows and Brass Eye, in which politicians and celebrities were unwitting victims of a series of bogus charities and causes (the episode where Noel Edmonds talked of the horrific consequences of taking ‘made up drug' Cake is the kind of guerilla television making we're unlikely to ever see again), Four Lions sees Morris at his most mercilessly cutting.

While there are undoubtedly moments of levity in Four Lions, and there are isolated scenes that are genuinely hilarious, the movie's one of the most bleak satires in recent memory.

Riz Ahmed plays Omar, one of a group of four directionless young men who plot to bomb the London Marathon. If that one sentence synopsis sounds like a potentially insensitive recipe for disaster, it isn't. Morris is far too intelligent and shrewd a writer to play gravely serious subjects such as terrorism, racism and religion for laughs, and the film's desolate humour is entirely derived from the hopelessly misguided nature of its characters.

Barry (Nigel Lindsay) is a bellowing, paranoid maniac, and the only Caucasian in the Four Lions coterie of wannabe terrorists, who describes himself as a Muslim despite his refusal to set foot in a mosque. Kavyan Novak is Waj, Omar's best friend, and so unable to form opinions of his own that he's perpetually guided by the strange whims of his friends. Adeel Akhtar plays Fessal, arguably the most sympathetic character in the film, an exhausted-looking individual whose harebrained scheme for acquiring an industrial quantity of cleaning chemicals involves buying the stuff from the shop by using a range of different voices, all remarkably similar to his own.

Four Lions is filled from beginning to end with Morris' stinging, sometimes surreal humour. In one of Barry's many, many apocalyptic rants, he rails against what he considers to be his religion's soft attitude to western culture: "The mosques have lost it. We've got women talking back. We've got people playing stringed instruments. It's the end of days!"

Morris himself once described the bomb-making efforts of Four Lions as something out of Dad's Army. In fact, Omar and his group's excitable, often juvenile approach to their grim mission is like something out of Jackass.

But while there are plenty of uneasy laughs to be gleaned from Four Lions, they come at a price. Moments of absurdity are frequently undercut by an unexpected, occasionally deadly explosion. Morris doesn't take his subject matter lightly, and refuses to let his audience relax for a moment.

When the group's mission, which involves dressing up as cartoon characters and detonating themselves among the bustling streets of the Marathon, finally comes around, it's a tense, awful last act. Morris has managed to create a collection of characters who, despite the dreadful nature of the crimes they're planning, remain oddly sympathetic throughout.

Morris makes a clear distinction between the Islamic faith and the ridiculous acts of terrorism that Four Lions depicts. Its characters exist in a moral, societal vacuum, desperate to fight for a cause they don't fully understand, or even necessarily believe in. They're simply disenfranchised and rudderless, desperate to make some sort of grand, headline grabbing statement, but entirely ignorant of the terrible damage they're capable of causing in the process.

The overall feeling, therefore, as the final credits roll on Four Lions, is one of sadness rather than amusement. The film depicts an all too plausible portrait of disenfranchised and paranoid working class men whose ambitions are as pathetic as they are deadly.

Four Lions is not always a comfortable film to watch, but it's an excellent feature debut from Morris, and cements his reputation as a master of incendiary satire.

Extras

Four Lions' modest selection of extras includes a handful of deleted scenes (which are all excellent), a cast interview filmed at the Bradford Film Festival, behind-the-scenes footage, and a documentary called Lost Boys, which looks at the lives of Muslim youths up and down the UK.

Of particular interest is an interview with Mohammed Ali Ahmad, who talks eloquently about his arrest under the Terrorism Act in 2008, and his lengthy time in prison before he was finally cleared of preparing for an act of terrorism earlier this year.

Film:
Disc:

Four Lions will be released on August 30th and can be pre-ordered from the Den Of Geek Store.

Whether it's the solid, committed performance from Mickey Rourke at the heart of The Wrestler, the unflinchingly grim drama of Requiem For A Dream, or the out-and-out brilliance of maths horror Pi, Darren Aronofsky movies are never less than fascinating to watch.

The director's latest feature, Black Swan, which stars Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis as a pair of rival ballet dancers vying for the same role in a production of Swan Lake, bears all the hallmarks of an unusual and intelligent psychological thriller, and the trailer we brought to you yesterday is as dark in tone as the film's title suggests.

Twenty-four hours later, and along comes Black Swan's first poster, which is unusual, to say the least. Photoshopped to within an inch of its life, it depicts a heavily made-up Natalie Portman, apparently ready to take to the stage, or, at least, we assume it's Natalie Portman, as the face in the poster looks almost nothing like her at all.

Nevertheless, the poster ties in neatly with the intriguing final moments of yesterday's trailer, which hints at some kind of eerie, Cronenberg-like physical metamorphosis. We await the UK premiere, a date for which has yet to be announced, with the utmost optimism.

Film School Rejects

London's Leicester Square is the cinema capital of the UK. Every year there's more than a few glitzy red carpet premieres for fans of both film and celebrities to get a little bit closer to the beautiful people who make dreams come true on a silver screen.

Tonight is the European premiere of Scott Pilgrim Vs The World and hundreds of fans have turned out to get a glimpse of its star cast. Some have turned up with t-shirts emblazoned with Bryan Lee O'Malley's creation and a few have even come out in costume. Not bad for what was once a little known graphic novel series.

To bring some of you, who've never even so much as glanced sideways at a Scott Pilgrim book, up to speed: yadda yadda yadda, 20-something slacker, yadda yadda, plays bass in crappy indie band yadda, meets girl of his dreams, yadda yadda fight her evil exes, yadda yadda, massive videogame overtones, yadda yadda made into film by Edgar Wright yadda yadda blah. Got that? Good!

Hostess with the mostest, the heavily pregnant Lauren Laverne, herself no stranger to being young and in a band thanks to her years spent in Kenickie, was on hand to deliver facts about the movie, announce the big names, and generally keep everyone entertained with her charming Geordie lilt!

The crowd were abuzz with excitement, some proudly showing off their copies of Scott Pilgrim to the cameras, and were sent into a frenzy by the almost constant stream of celebrities walking up the hallowed red carpet.

In attendance were some of the biggest names in UK comedy. Familiar faces belonging to such luminaries such as Armando Iannucci, sadly, not researching for a bold new direction for The Thick Of It, comedy and music performer extraordinaire, Matt Berry, incredibly busy yet fantastic Olivia Colman from Peep Show, Joe Cornish of Adam and Joe fame and X-Factor runner up, Olly Murs. Florence Welch minus her machine turned up and seemed to have brought her own fan club with her, with a good chunk of the crowd chanting her name.

Bryan Lee O'Malley was brought up onto the stage to chat with Laverne about the original graphic novel, talking about the general influences behind the book. The eagle-eyed comic fan may also have spotted the Phonogram boys, Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie, walking in too.

Of course, the crowds were there to see the stars of the film and they weren't disappointed. Ellen Wong, Brie Larson, Satya Bhabha, Jason Schwartzman and Anna Kendrick all showed up and happily signed autographs and posed for photos. Brandon Routh and the one man Marvel universe that is Chris Evans showed up, whipping the crowds into a full on frenzy!

The real man of the moment, though, was undoubtedly Scott Pilgrim himself, Michael Cera. The girls in the crowd screamed his name in adoration, which should give hope to other thin, bespectacled geeks. He looked at ease as he signed anything that was thrust at him. Dressed a little casually for the occasion, he revealed to the assembled press pen that his glasses were bought from Specsavers while in Dublin. See? Top showbiz gossip, there.

If Michael was dressed a bit too casually, then Mary Elizabeth Winstead brought a big dollop of glamour with her, wearing a vintage dress even a fashionably clueless nerd such as myself could recognise as being gorgeous, doubtless costing many times more than my entire outfit with enough left to have paid for my dinner after.

No mention of Scott Pilgrim Versus The World could be complete without giving an almighty mention to Edgar Wright. Since breaking into the geek consciousness with Spaced, he's constantly delivered fried gold with Shaun Of The Dead and Hot Fuzz becoming modern classics. Speaking to the crowd, he said how passionate he was about the books and how he tried to stay true to the spirit of them. He was full of nothing but praise for the cast and crew, mentioning how hard everyone worked over several years to bring it to screen. Simon Pegg also made an appearance to give kudos to his long-time working partner.

There seemed to be a real buzz greeting Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, from both fans of the series and movie lovers alike. Hopefully, this can translate into decent box office after the mediocre takings from last week. The screening itself was a big hit with the assembled audience and, overall, word was positive from the folks we talked to after.

Simon Pegg himself tweeted afterwards that it's the closest thing you'll ever see to a Spaced series 3. And if that doesn't get you salivating at the thought of seeing it when it goes on general release on the 25th, then, quite frankly, nothing will.

Heard at the Premiere:

Brie Larson on performing onstage as Envy Adams: "I had no idea my body could move that way!"

Michael Cera on being a kung fu hero: "It's cool. I don't know if I could do it as a living, though."

Mary Elizabeth Winstead on Ramona's hair: "We got through a lot of wigs! I couldn't do that as often with my real hair."

Edgar Wright on adapting the original graphic novels: "I was so passionate about these books. It was hard work!"

Scott Pilgrim Versus The World goes on general release on 25 August. Photography courtesy of Marion Cromb.

Click on the photos below, courtesy of Marion Cromb, for a bigger, better look...

Colin and Greg Strause may be the directors of the Aliens Vs Predator - Requiem, but we're hoping that their forthcoming Skyline will cleanse our minds of that earlier, woeful movie.

The trailer, which we saw last week, hints at an alien invasion movie of the Independence Day variety, and while it doesn't have the soaring budget of that movie, there are some neatly imaginative visual effects, including the glimpse of a moment where thousands of humans are sucked up by a vast extraterrestrial vacuum cleaner.

The new poster depicts a similar scene, with thousands of people swept into the sky like so much confetti, and it's an eye-catching, arresting design.

The brothers Strause have reportedly financed the film entirely out of their own pockets, with much of the movie shot in and around Greg Strause's California apartment over the space of about a month.

At the very least, Skyline should look good, since the pair have an impressive history as visual effects designers, with their CVs filled with big names such as The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button and Avatar. They were also at least partially responsible for the numbing CG car chases in 2009's Fast & Furious, but we'll quietly gloss over that.

It's been years since we saw a really good new alien invasion movie, so we're hoping that Skyline can plug the gap when it appears on 12 November.

Shock Till You Drop

The vast majority of films produced are made purely for money, and this isn't really all that surprising when cash is still very much considered king in Hollywood. Nevertheless, every now and then a film comes out that commands your attention, engages your senses, and stays with you for quite sometime after it's finished.

Some call it art, others proclaim it the work of a genius and some, rather more simply, refer to it as a decent film. Either way, it doesn't really matter how you label them, one simple fact unites them all: some films are so good you have to see them at least twice, whether it's to understand the complexities of the plot, or just to fully get your head around how good they are. Here are ten films that fall into those categories...

Primer (2004)

Primer, which was made for a reported $7000, was the debut of engineer-turned-filmmaker, Shane Carruth. The film went on to win the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival in 2007, and is probably one of the only films on this list that you will actually need to see more than twice to fully grasp.

The film itself is concerned with time travel and its implications. However, the crux of the story is based on engineering and invention. Basically, how the process of creating something can sometimes yield unexpected results. In this case, it's time travel.

The basic premise of the film is concerned with two friends, one of which is played by Carruth, who inadvertently discover how to manipulate the fabric of time. But it quickly gets out of hand as doubles, paradoxes, death and deep philosophical questions ensue.

Ex-engineer and mathematician, Carruth, isn't afraid of using a bit of jargon either, and as a result, the film's dialogue is almost as difficult to follow as the plot twists and paradoxes later on.

Nevertheless, this is a brilliant, shining example of just how good independent cinema can actually be. Sure, it's confusing as hell, but this is exactly what makes the second and third viewing all the more satisfying.

Memento (2000)

Memento is famous for two things: putting Chris Nolan on the map and being confusing.

The plot of the film is simple enough on the surface. A man known as Leonard Shelby is suffering from short-term memory loss and is out to find the people that killed his wife, which kind of sounds like your typical revenge film, right? Wrong.

As soon as the film begins, Nolan has complete control over your senses, dragging you into the hell that is Shelby's life by forcing you to experience his condition, plight and paranoia firsthand as you inhabit a place where time, faces, relationships and surroundings have absolutely no meaning whatsoever.

The direction and script are amazing, as are the lead performances, courtesy of Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss and Joe Pantoliano.

Memento is terrifying, funny, disturbing and confusing. It raises questions about the nature of reality, our perceptions of it and how grief can affect one's entire being. It's also a fine example of just how good, and thoroughly meticulous, Chris Nolan is behind the camera, too.

This film is essential viewing for anyone that hasn't yet seen it, plus, it's just as good the second time round too.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

David Lynch is one of the greats when it comes to creating hangover-inducing films. In fact, this top 10 could quite possibly be made up entirely of Lynch films, but that wouldn't be much fun. So, in the context of this feature, we've chosen Mulholland Drive.

Mulholland Drive starts off innocently enough, with Naomi Watts' wide-eyed country bumpkin character, Betty Elms, taking her first tentative steps into the predictably seedy and profoundly disheartening world of Hollywood acting.

But before the lovely Betty can begin to make a name for herself on the silver screen, she's sucked into a dark and sinister conspiracy involving a mysterious woman with amnesia, a seedy film director called Adam Kesher and an even more mysterious nightclub called, wait for it, Silencio.

On paper, Mulholland Drive doesn't sound that complicated or confusing. But it really is/ So much so, that there's even ten clues written inside the DVD case. But even with these helpful little tidbits of information, Mulholland Drive is still thoroughly taxing on the ol' gray matter.

But what's even more bizarre about the film is that it originally started out life as a pilot idea for a TV series. Just imagine what that would have been like. Twin Peaks in Hollywood, anyone?

Overall, Mulholland Drive is as likely to frustrate, as it is to delight, so be warned.

That said, it's still an amazing piece of cinema and, as an added bonus, it also features possibly one of the greatest scenes ever committed to screen which involves two men, a diner, and something disturbing ‘round back...

12 Monkeys (1995)

If you thought Cormac McCarthy's vision of the future in his novel, The Road, was pretty grim, trust us, you ain't seen nothing yet. Compared to the one portrayed in 12 Monkeys, it's practically a utopia.

Bruce Willis plays James Cole, a convict/survivor from the future, who is sent back in time by the new ruling class of feudalistic Nazi scientists to obtain information about the manmade virus, which wiped out humanity and forced the survivors to live in what can only be described as underground prisons. Needless to say, once he's arrived, Cole doesn't fancy going back.

On the whole, 12 Monkeys isn't overtly complicated, it's just a very good film and it explores the idea of time travel in a very gritty and unique way. There's no fancy machines or friendly eccentric doctors. It is pure and unadulterated grimness with more than a few dollops of brutal violence thrown in for good measure.

The casting is brilliant, as is the direction, courtesy of Terry Gilliam. Brad Pitt impresses no end in a role that is probably one of his finest moments to date. Couple this with the finale of the film, which is easily up there with the best of them, and it's easy to see why many, including us, feel that 12 Monkeys is easily one of the most notable sci-fi films of the last twenty years.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

There isn't much you can say about Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey that hasn't already been said a million times. It's cinematically perfect, moving, and probably one of the finest depictions of the ascent of mankind ever depicted.

If you haven't seen this film then it should be the first thing you do when you wake up tomorrow. Really.

The only thing that is unfortunate about 2001: A Space Odyssey is that Hollywood no longer makes, or seems to even bother funding, films of this calibre. It's sort of like comparing Snow Patrol to Led Zeppelin, and then concluding that the former is somehow satisfactory enough, even though it lacks anything near what the latter had over four decades ago. And this, when you think about it, is extremely depressing.

Open Your Eyes (1997)

Open Your Eyes, which was written and directed by Alejandro Amenábar, came out in 1997 in Spain, but was subsequently remade, either for money or because some people don't like reading subtitles, a year later by Cameron Crowe.

Crowe's remake was called Vanilla Sky, starred Tom Cruise, and like most remakes, it really isn't as good as the original. But why? Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that repetition, in any walk of life, does not create originality, just conformity and boredom.

Sure, Vanilla Sky is a decent enough film, but if you haven't see Open Your Eyes it will completely ruin it for you, and this is what makes the fact that a remake was made so soon after its initial release an absolute travesty.

Nevertheless, Open Your Eyes is a fantastic film in every sense of the word. It raises some very deep philosophical questions about the nature of consciousness, reality and the human condition, and in a much more refined and sensitive way than the remake.

In short, this is an immense film and one that is best served raw, that is, with no prior knowledge of Vanilla Sky. 

Pi (1998)

Pi, which is easily Darren Aronofsky's best work to date, is concerned with numbers, patterns and how mathematics can explain everything around us, from nature, to the stock market, to the true name of God.

The film's unlikely protagonist is Max Cohen, played by Seth Gullette, who lives a solitary life spent working on formulae and theories in his small inner-city flat. Max occasionally meets up with his aging mentor and friend, Sol (Mark Margolis), where the two play a board game (I've completely forgotten the name of) and discuss advanced mathematics, philosophy and the dangers of going too close to the edge, mathematically speaking, of course.

At least, that's what he did before he discovers a pattern within a sequence of 218 numbers that can explain everything about nature, reality and the true essence of God.

Obviously, this is quite a valuable commodity, and once word gets out about Max's discovery, he has sleazy corporate types and hardcore religious nuts dogging his every move. Cue paranoia, headaches, seizures, injections and one hell of an amazing sound track for the next 80 minutes or so.

The thing that makes Pi so good, though, besides the actual story, is the look, feel and overwhelmingly disturbing atmosphere of the film, which is conveyed so perfectly through Aronofsky's direction and choice of camera and lighting.

In fact, the general look and feel of the film itself is probably best described as something you might experience during a particularly hellish nightmare.

Pi is essential viewing and because of the nature of the questions it raises, it simply gets better with each viewing. Plus, it only cost $60,000 to make.

Brazil (1985)

Terry Gilliam's Brazil was released in 1985 and has divided the opinions of all who have seen it since into two very distinct camps: people either love it, or absolutely hate it, at least in this scribbler's experience, anyhow. But what else would you expect from the mind of Terry Gilliam?

Yes, Brazil is both surreal and funny in parts, but it is also a damning commentary on the ramifications of an over bureaucratised society. Think of it as a mixture of 1984, Monty Python and Franz Kafka.

The basic premise of the film follows Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce), a low-level, but highly aspirant civil servant at the Ministry of Information, who lives a normal life, happily trundling along as a cog in a wheel. But when Sam attempts to correct an 'oversight' by the MOI concerning the death of a man, his world is turned upside down and the barrier between reality and his dreams is blown apart once and for all.

Brazil is weird, wonderful, abstract and highly poetic and this is why we love it so much. The story isn't complicated at all, but the themes and ideas explored are and this is why it is such a rewarding film to watch over and over again.

The sets are massive, the acting is brilliant, and Gilliam's vision of the future, while not being highly original, is certainly very entertaining and there's even a cameo from Robert De Niro as a plumber with a massive disdain for 'big government'.

Brazil is Gilliam's masterpiece, featuring an absolute stonker of a cast that includes Ian Holm, Michael Palin, Katherine Helmond and Bob Hoskins, all of whom put in brilliant performances, which is why every serious film fan should have at least one copy of Brazil on DVD somewhere in their home.

Solaris (1972)

Andrei Tarkovsky's Solaris might not be one the most well known sci-fi films of all times, but it's easily one of the best.

Steven Soderbergh remade it in 2002 with George Clooney taking centre stage. The 2002 version definitely wasn't as good as the original, but at least Soderbergh had the decency to let the original air for a good 30 years before remaking it for modern day subtitle haters.

The premise of Solaris is simple. A scientist is sent out to a top secret space station that's located near what is thought to be intelligent life, after one of the crew members mysteriously dies.

However, there are no monsters, aliens, gunfights or mutiny in this film and this may disappoint some viewers. But it really shouldn't, as Solaris is one of the most mind-blowing sci-fi films of all time, and it's probably also one of the quietest too.

Some have said that Solaris is an answer to the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey. But it isn't. And to simply pass it off as this doesn't do it justice.

Solaris, in every respect, is an absolute masterpiece that is easily on par with Kubrick's 2001. I got it on DVD whilst at university and watched it about four times in the first week of owning it. There really is just something very powerful about Tarkovsky's Solaris. It hits you on a level that is usually only stimulated by very good literature. And this is why it is a film that is a pleasure to watch and absorb time and time again.

Inception (2010)

Inception (like you don't already know!) is concerned with ideas and dreams, which, as we all know, are quite confusing in themselves. Nevertheless, Inception steams into this subject full throttle as we join a team of thieves for hire, lead by a man called Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio), whose job it is to get into people's dreams, steal whatever idea his employers want removing, and get out without them knowing.

It sounds complicated and on the whole it kind of is, although, it's nowhere near as complex as some people have been making out. That said, Nolan definitely doesn't make it easy for the viewer, but that's what makes the film so utterly brilliant. That and the amazing sets, overwhelming special effects, and massively powerful soundtrack, which are all brought together to create easily one of the best 'mainstream' films of the last 20 years.

This is a film that has to be seen in the cinema to be fully appreciated. It is absolutely massive, so make sure you pick a cinema with a gigantic screen. It'll be the best £10 you've spent on the cinema in a long time.

Leave your comments and suggestions below...

See also:
Could Inception trigger a new wave of science fiction?
Does Inception stand up to a second viewing?

It’s been a thoroughly 80s summer. We’ve already seen the throwback action of The A-Team and The Expendables, and the high-kicking return of The Karate Kid. And in the dying days of the sunny season, along swims Piranha 3D, a movie with its fins fully immersed in the decade that subtlety forgot.

A remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 original, which was the better of an entire shoal of low-budget rip-offs that appeared in the wake of Jaws, Piranha 3D replays the exploitative gore and sleaze of late-70s and 80s grindhouse pictures with relish. A 90-minute dervish of bikinis, breasts and blood, director Alexandre Aja’s movie is gleefully, hedonistically salacious and shamelessly gory.

Set among the crystal waters of fictional Lake Victoria during spring break, Piranha 3D is remarkably like Fast And Furious with fish. As thousands of young beach bodies descend on the lake for a seemingly endless party of alcohol and pounding, awful music, an earth tremor disgorges scores of prehistoric flesh-eating critters from their aquatic tomb.

Elisabeth Shue and the mighty Ving Rhames star as Julie and Fallon, two law enforcers charged with the hopeless task of keeping order among the gathering throng of teenagers, while Steven McQueen (grandson of the legendary Steve) plays Julie’s son Jake, who sneaks off to have some fun on porn baron Derrick's (Jerry O’Connell) yacht when he should be babysitting his horribly bratty younger siblings.

Richard Dreyfuss starts the movie on a high note, as he appears in a brief cameo as an older version of his Jaws character Hooper, and even manages to drunkenly burble Show Me The Way To Go Home before he’s mercilessly torn to shreds by CG fish.

For what is surely the first hour, Aja bides his time, treating the audience to a continuous parade of bare, mostly female flesh before he finally brings on the killer fish. Kelly Brook and Riley Steele play a pair of buxom starlets whose task it is to pass the time until the screaming starts, and spend a lengthy period cavorting naked under water to the strains of Léo Delibes’ The Flower Duet.

Eventually, the blood flows in torrents. In a sustained attack on a beach party, the piranhas – presumably sick of the pounding music – tuck into the waiting horde of cellulite-free revellers with gusto. Eyeballs are  nibbled out of sockets, muscle-bound beach hunks are eviscerated, and one unfortunate teen has her entire face pulled off by a boat’s outboard motor.

Between the bloodshed, Christopher Lloyd makes a welcome appearance to give a vague scientific explanation for everything that’s happening, and there’s even a brief cameo from Eli Roth, whose head is crushed between two boats like ripe fruit.

In fact, Piranha 3D boasts a far better cast than a film of its calibre deserves. Frustratingly, Ving Rhames and Elisabeth Shue are barely used, and their attempts to save Lake Victoria’s nibbled swimmers is secondary to the fate of Steven McQueen’s dull character and his equally vapid love interest, Kelly, played by Jessica Szohr. The rest of the cast, broadly speaking, is little more than fish food.

Quite possibly the bloodiest mainstream picture to appear this summer, Piranha 3D’s fountains of gore and prosthetic limbs would be of more consequence if the film were even the slightest bit scary.

Even Aja appears to be unsure whether to direct the film as a straight horror or as camp fluff – the lengthy build-up hints at the former, while the buoyant breasts and messy deaths point decisively to the latter.

The use of 3D, on the other hand, is far more successful than you might expect from a post-production conversion, with plenty of eyeballs and gnashing teeth flying out of the screen at all times.

But after the beach party massacre leaves Lake Victoria a crimson slick of bobbing corpses and weeping, chewed survivors, Piranha 3D’s plot sinks never to resurface. Having apparently thrown all his creativity into the extended dining scene we’ve just witnessed, Aja appears to be directorially spent, leaving the film to drift to a predictable climax that recalls the tedious conclusion of Jaws II.

For connoisseurs of gore, Piranha 3D’s trashy combination of titillation and comic evisceration will make for an entertaining night out at the movies – if the idea of a CG fish puking up a half-chewed penis directly into the screen sounds like a funny gag, this is probably the film you’ve been waiting all summer to see.

For everyone else, Aja’s aquatic horror will prove a predictable, if mercifully brief, bore with jaws.

"It's The Muppet Show with our special guest Miss Ruth Buzzi." - Kermit

Episode four's guest is accomplished comedienne Ruth Buzzi, who found fame though her work on another variety show, Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in in the late-60s and early-70s. Buzzi gives the most energetic performance from a Muppets Show guest so far this series and, at times, quite literally throws herself into the performance. Her comedic timing is excellent and the show really plays to her strengths.

Whereas the previous episode took on a musical film to cater to the talents of guest Joel Grey, this episode played out like a comedy sketch show with a few musical numbers that were largely played for laughs. 

For the opening musical number of episode four, Floyd Pepper leads The Electric Mayhem in a rendition of Sunny, but the performance is hampered by Animal as the pesky percussionist wasn't satisfied with the pace and shouts "Faster!" at regular intervals and cranks up the tempo, causing the rest of the band to collapse with exhaustion. Animal crops up again shortly after this sketch as Statler tells Waldorf that he needs to stretch his legs. Animal appears and stretches them for him.

Buzzi's only musical number is a rendition of Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You with Sweetums, who remains oblivious to her charms and shuns her advances. The duet leads to a fight between the two performers and sees Buzzi throw herself at her partner in a great sketch that shows off Buzzi's voice and comedic talents.

Another sketch that appears later in the show that highlights Buzzi's comedic talents is the interrogation scene, where she plays a prisoner of war and divulges far more information than her captors Frackle and Whatnot need or want.

This episode sees the introduction of what would become a regular character, Scooter, who justifies his backstage presence through being the nephew of Muppet theatre owner, J.P. Grosse. Scooter is sent to deliver a wind-up mechanical version of Kermit. The robotic frog proves to be more trouble than it's worth. Well, for Kermit at least, as it sets out to harass the host and flirt outrageously with his porcine admirer, Miss Piggy.

When the robotic Kermit takes things a step too far whilst whispering sweet nothings to Miss Piggy leaving her outraged, it's Kermit that deals with the consequences through what would become her trademark karate chop.

In a first for the series so far, the episode doesn't close with a musical number from one of its guest stars. Instead there's a comedy sketch around a discussion panel on whether or not the human body is obsolete. It gives Buzzi another opportunity to throw herself into the performance as she plays the role of Gloria Goodbody and proceeds to perform yoga on the desk in front of Sam the Eagle.

The show, as a whole, was possibly one of the more consistent so far, with only the jokes in At the Dance misfiring. The focus on comedy, as opposed to music, was a refreshing change after episode 3's musical theme.

Even though the musical numbers that featured were largely played for laughs, they didn't lose any quality. The Electric Mayhems' version of Sunny, Ruth Buzzi and Sweetums' Can't Take My Eyes off of You and Rowlf's I Never Harmed An Onion are some of the finest from the season so far and Wayne and Wanda's Row Row Row and The Gogolala Jubilee Jug Band's You Can't Rollerskate In A Buffalo Herd are both solid if not outstanding.

Overall, the episode was a refreshing change of pace that struck the right balance between comedy sketches and musical numbers whilst maintaining consistency in terms of the quality of the material.

Read our remembrance of episode 3 here.

In the week that UK TV viewers have the least telly news and choices to ponder, we also face our greatest challenge. For tonight, Friday August 20th, the deliciously dark drama that is Dexter starts its fourth season, and it's an especially unnerving one that will have you wishing your weeks away over its 12 episode run. While, in just a few weeks' time, the launch of the fifth season fires up in the States.

If you've managed to remain oblivious, it'll be hard work to enjoy this new season without the ending being spoiled by the rampant headlines, forum posts, comment sections and images bound to be round every click and turn of sites across the virtual landscape, heralding in the fifth outing of this terrific and terrifying series. If you can pull it off, you'll be greatly rewarded and we wish you all the luck in Tellyland that you make it through.

Tonight, at 10:00pm on FX, Living The Dream starts the season that wisely brought the talented Mr John Lithgow into Dexter's eyeline. Be seated early and hang on tight to your couch cushions.

And that's all we have for you this week. We can offer, as a public service statement to readers, to mind your remotes and go nowhere near ITV2, Tuesdays at 10 when Jedward: Let Loose is sicced on the nation's viewers. And this on the very day that the death of Big Brother held such promise (before its rotting corpse Ultimate zombie scratches its way to a two week abominable attempt at clinging to life, anyway). How foolish we are.

But let's block that from our brains, shall we? And move on to the films that follow for the weekend and a bit beyond, including some excellent old, new and future classics, Roger Moore-styled James Bond, a bit of Ray Harryhausen, and more Roald Dahl to share with the youngest geeks in the household.

Remember: the ordinal numbers for dates will help you scan through this simple list with your browser's search function. Enter '21st' in your browser's Find box or window to highlight and/or tab through all movies shown on Saturday. Enjoy!

28 Days Later
On: Film4
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 11:40pm (and 00:40am Film4+1)

28 Weeks Later
On: Film4
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 11:05pm (and 00:05am 22nd Aug Film4+1)

Adventureland
On: Sky Movies Premiere
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 10:00am )and 11:pm Premiere+1, 10:30/11:30pm and daily at similar timmes through 2nd Sept)

Almost Famous
On: Comedy Central
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 02:00am (and 3:00am CC+1, and midnight/1:00am 22nd Aug)

Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
On: BBC 3
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 9:00pm (and 10:35pm 25th Aug)

Assassins
On: ITV4
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 11:30pm (and 00:30am 22nd Aug ITV4+1, 10/11:00pm 23rd Aug)

Benny And Joon
On: TCM
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 5:15pm (and 9:00am 21st Aug)

Cadillac Man
On: TCM
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 9:00pm (and 00:55am 22nd Aug)

Darkman
On: Sky Movies Sci-Fi/Horror
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 11:05pm (and 1:20am 24th Aug)

Daylight
On: ITV1 Granada
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 10:35pm

Deliverance
On: ITV1
Date: Thursday 26th August
Time: 02:20am

Doctor Zhivago
On: ITV3
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 11:55am (and 12:55pm ITV3+1)

Excalibur
On: ITV3
Date: Sunday 22nd August
Time: 11:25pm (and 00:25am ITV3+1)

Gulliver's Travels (1939)
On: Film4
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 12:35pm (and 1:35pm Film4+1)

Highlander
On: ITV1
Date: Monday 23rd August
Time: 10:35pm

James And The Giant Peach
On: Film4
Date: Sunday 22nd August
Time: 2:55pm (and 3:55pm Film4+1, 5:05/6:05pm 26th Aug)

Ju-on: The Grudge
On: Film4
Date: Tuesday 24th August
Time: 01:20am (and 2:20am Film4+1)

King Arthur (2004)
On: Watch
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 10:00pm (and 11:00pm Watch+1, 9/10:00pm 22nd Aug)

Little Nikita
On: Five USA
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 3:20pm (and 4:20pm Five USA+1, noon/1:00pm 22nd Aug)

Mr. Mom
On: TCM
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 5:15pm (and 9:15am 22nd Aug)

Mystery Men
On: ITV4
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 5:45pm (and 6:45pm ITV4+1)

Nanny McPhee
On: ITV2
Date: Sunday 22nd August
Time: 4:25pm (and 5:25pm ITV2+1)

Nineteen Eighty-Four
On: TCM
Date: Monday 23rd August
Time: 9:00pm (and 1:05am 24th Aug)

North By Northwest
On: Film4
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 3:55pm (and 4:55pm Film4+1)

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
On: Film4
Date: Monday 23rd August
Time: 9:00pm (and 10:00pm Film4+1)

Porridge
On: Film4
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 5:05pm (nad 6:05pm Film4+1)

Romancing The Stone
On: E4
Date: Sunday 22nd August
Time: 2:55pm (and 3:55pm E4+1)

Seabiscuit
On: BBC 1
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 2:20pm

Sinbad And The Eye Of The Tiger
On: Five
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 5:00pm

Snake Eyes
On: BBC 1
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 11:15pm

Spartacus
On: Sky Movies Classics
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 06:05am (and 1:30pm 25th Aug)

Stir Of Echoes
On: SyFy
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 9:00pm (and 10:00pm Syfy+1, 10:50/11:50pm 24th Aug)

Suspiria
On: Film4
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 01:55am (and 2:55am Film4+1)

Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines
On: Five
Date: Sunday 22nd August
Time: 8:00pm

The Bourne Identity
On: ITV1
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 10:00pm

The Day Of The Triffids (1962)
On: BBC 4
Date: Monday 23rd August
Time: 10:00pm

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
On: BBC 2
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 11:40pm

The Man With The Golden Gun
On: ITV1
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 1:00pm

The Spy Who Loved Me
On: ITV1
Date: Sunday 22nd August
Time: 4:15pm

The Sum Of All Fears
On: more4
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 9:00pm (and 2:00am 21st Aug)

This Is Spinal Tap
On: G.O.L.D.
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 10:00pm (and 11:00pm Gold+1, 00:55/1:55am 21st Aug)

Thunderbolt And Lightfoot
On: Five
Date: Monday 23rd August
Time: 11:35pm

Unbreakable
On: Sky1
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 9:00pm (and 9:0pm 22nd Aug Sky2, midnight 15th Aug Sky1, 9:00pm 26th Aug Sky2)

Universal Soldier
On: Five
Date: Sunday 22nd August
Time: 10:05pm

Unleashed
On: ITV4
Date: Friday 20th August
Time: 11:10pm (and 00:10am ITV4+1, 10:30/11:30pm 22nd Aug)

Young Sherlock Holmes
On: Film4
Date: Saturday 21st August
Time: 6:55pm (and 7:55pm Film4+1, 6:40/7:40pm 26th Aug)

Arriving on 3rd September in cinemas across the UK, The Last Exorcism is the brand new horror film from producer Eli Roth and director Daniel Stamm. And as a special treat to the fine readers of Den Of Geek, we've got an opportunity for you to see it for free, nearly two weeks before it arrives in cinemas!

Just in case you've not heard of The Last Exorcism yet, here's the official synopsis:

"From producer Eli Roth (HOSTEL, CABIN FEVER) THE LAST EXORCISM is a terrifying horror film in the tradition of THE EXORCIST and shot in the unique style of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY and THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. After a career spent helping the devout through prayer and trickery, Reverend Marcus invites a film crew to document his final fraudulent days as an exorcist. Soon his faith is truly tested when a desperate plea from the father of a possessed girl brings him face to face with evil itself."

Splendid.

And if that's sufficiently whetted your appetite, here's what you need to do to claim your free tickets. It's very simple. You need to click right there: www.seefilmfirst.com/pin/406726

Or, failing that, you need to head to www.seefilmfirst.com and enter the super secret special code 4067726.

Tickets are obviously limited and it's first come first served. There are screenings right across the country (just Britain - our free screening super powers stop when they travel over water, sadly), and think of us while you're munching your popcorn.

To find more on The Last Exorcism, please visit: www.thelastexorcism.co.uk  or www.facebook.com/optimumreleasing.

Earlier this week, you might recall that a collection of pictures surfaced from the forthcoming adaptation of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. And unlike most promotional pictures that seem to emerge from the Harry Potter publicity department, they were actually quite interesting. After all, we're usually given pictures of Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint standing by one another, with some degree of worry on their faces. Here? We got something different.

Sadly, though, things are back to where they were, and once more, Warner Bros has issued a new publicity shot from the Harry Potter movie using the old template. You'll recognise said template, because the Twilight movies use it now, too.

We bring it to you in the spirit of completeness, but rest assured, we think it's as boring as you probably do. Never let it be said we don't bring you, er, entertainment...

It does feel like over the years we've sat through the basic story of Nikita several times, since Luc Besson debuted her in the form of Anne Parillaud back in 1990. But The CW is confident that there's still more to tell, which is why it's bringing a new show based on the character to our screens in the coming weeks.

It's also released a new trailer from the show, which doesn't tell you a fat lot, but is very keen on the colour red.

We're in two minds about Nikita surfacing again, but if you're interested, have a beak at the trailer and see what you reckon...