Would millionaire Bruce Wayne feel the impact of an economic downturn? How would a recession affect the Ghostbusters team? Simon has the answers...
In years gone by, many great scriptwriters speculated as to what this world's future would hold. Inevitably, the majority of their imaginations featured bleak dystopias with mankind on the brink of annihilation. Yet, ironically, none of these creative masterminds envisaged our small planet would face anything quite so desperate as the economic climate we're currently in.
After briefly musing upon such irony, I found myself faced with an intriguing question. Which of yesteryear's film characters could have survived under the merciless grip of the credit crunch, and which ones would have disintegrated quicker than that Nazi guy who chose the wrong grail in The Last Crusade?
Marty McFly - Back To The Future
There can be no doubt whatsoever that young Mr McFly would have excelled in these dark fiscal times. Instead of wasting his disposable income on the unnecessary luxury of fuel, Marty opted for a combination of his skateboard and being towed along by other road users. Such thriftiness can only be admired, and his transportation options remain firmly intact, despite a global recession. Win.
Owen Lars - Star Wars Episode IV
Luke's thoroughly unpleasant uncle had the air of a man who kept a close eye on his wallet. However, when those Jawa traders showed up, his eagerness to part with the family funds was truly disturbing.
The purchase of C3PO for his knowledge of the "binary language of moisture vaporators" did seem slightly unnecessary, but the carefree manner in which Lars nearly acquired the astro-droid with the "bad motivator" struck me as nothing short of reckless.
If Uncle Owen was around now, he'd probably be moonlighting as some form of maverick banker. We'd be able to blame him for this mess.
Bruce Wayne and Alfred - Batman Begins
A pair who would most definitely have struggled in these lean times is billionaire Bruce Wayne and his dependable butler, Alfred.
Take, for example, the scene where the pair nonchalantly discuss ordering 10,000 duplicate copies of Bat Suit components to avoid suspicion, or the wanton destruction caused by the former on his joy ride through Gotham. Wayne Enterprises might, right now, have trouble ordering 10,000 replica Batman figurines.
And while we're at it: you might be able to build a new mansion, Bruce, but it isn't that easy for the Gotham Police Department to replace half their patrol cars.
Thuggees and the Thuggee cult of Pankot Palace - Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom
Running your own cult in a bear market is a tall order. To survive, you need to be incredibly shrewd and keep expenses to the bare minimum.
What better way to achieve this than by having a mining workforce comprised of infants (both affordable and potentially long-serving)? In fact, if it wasn't for that pesky Dr Jones, there can be little doubt that Thuggees would be a major player in modern day commerce.
John Hammond - Jurassic Park
John Hammond and his team at InGen deserved a great deal of credit for their remarkable scientific breakthroughs. Bringing those magnificent creatures back to life was surely worth the colossal expenditure Hammond went to (as he was so often at pains to inform everyone).
Sadly, the meddling handiwork of Dennis Nedry (combined with a series of unfortunate circumstances) prevented Jurassic Park realising the astronomical profits necessary to balance the books. But for the sheer weight of his ambition, it seems only fair to forgive Mr Hammond his liberal spending.
There is, however, one expense that cannot be forgiven him: the cost of that woeful cartoon video explanation of the science behind the dinosaurs. It was so dull, even Sam Neill left the theatre. Shame on you, John. You wouldn't last ten minutes in 2010 with such flagrant profligacy.
The crew of the Nebuchadnezzar - The Matrix
Though the decision by the entire crew to opt for cheap unsightly grey apparel in their journey through the real world would probably have been sufficient to get them on this list, there is a greater reason for their inclusion.
Any group who are willing to use public phone boxes as a means of inter-dimensional travel would definitely be equipped to cope with whatever the credit crunch could throw at them. Even if nobody can afford to repair the broken phone boxes that seem to litter our streets.
Dr Hans Zarkov - Flash Gordon
When the good folks at NASA launch their voyages into space, they have an unfortunate habit of spending millions of dollars and making a big song and dance about the whole process. Despite this, their missions generally either fail miserably or accomplish very little. Perhaps they should take a leaf out of Dr Zarkov's book.
Here is a man who successfully launched his own homemade craft into the cosmos, from his own greenhouse, no less. That kind of prudence is normally reserved for episodes of Blue Peter.
The fact that he executed the launch while holding a strapping American footballer and neurotic woman to ransom only adds to the man's brilliance.
The original three Ghostbuster team members - Ghostbusters
Everyone knows, when the economy is struggling, finding work can be a scary prospect. Employers are reluctant to take a gamble on committing to paying someone else's salary without some serious assurances as to their potential. The three Ghostbusters, Ray, Peter and Egon, had no such qualms when Winston Zeddemore approached them looking for work. They almost bit the man's hand off.
Clearly, the trio could never cope in the current decline, and their soft recruitment policy was almost exposed later on when Winston tried to talk his way out of prison by distancing himself from the team.
Have your own predications for film characters' fates in recessionary times? Share them in the comments!
