As Arnold Schwarzenegger announces his return to acting, we go back over his previous roles, and wonder what are the chances of him reprising any of them...
Having conquered the world of politics and left Sacramento smouldering in his wake, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s making a welcome to acting, no doubt with a triumphant cry of “I’ll be back.”
In an interview with an Austrian newspaper, Schwarzenegger revealed he was “Reading three scripts”, one of which appears to be With Wings As Eagles, an adaptation of a World War II-set novel written by James J Cullen.
The big question is, what are the other two scripts that Schwarzenegger has under consideration? While he appears to have ruled out returning to the action movie genre that made him famous (“Throwing myself around the room and shooting people is no longer in there,” he said, to our extreme disappointment), we’re still hoping that, given enough encouragement, he might return to one or two of his earlier movies for one last adventure.
Schwarzenegger may be heading for his sixty-fourth birthday, but advancing years haven’t stopped Sylvester Stallone from shooting dozens of anonymous bad guys in such films as Rambo and The Expendables, and Clint Eastwood was in his 60s when he saved the president in In The Line Of Fire.
With this in mind, we take a rather optimistic look back at Arnie’s acting career, and attempt to determine which, if any, of his past roles he’s most likely to reprise…
Hercules – Hercules In New York
Schwarzenegger was just 22 when he made his movie debut (credited as Arnold Strong) in the stunning low-budget fantasy adventure, Hercules In New York. The young Arnold hasn’t quite got his acting chops together yet (his thick Austrian accent was originally dubbed by an American actor, but has since been restored), while much of the film appears to have been shot in a park.
Likelihood of a sequel
Given that Schwarzenegger has often expressed his regret at appearing in Hercules In New York, the chances of his reprising the role are, we’d say, minimal. To get an idea of just how bad the film is, take a look at the astonishing moment where the future governor of California punches a bear in the face for what feels like hours…
Howard Langston – Jingle All The Way
Probably Arnold’s least convincing comedy performance, this festive family movie was subjected to an even greater critical drubbing than Junior. Schwarzenegger played a harassed father prepared to go to any length to acquire a Turbo Man toy for his son. Any potential comment about the materialism and greed of a typical Christmas was drowned out by lots of pratfalls, signposted laughs and a distracting performance by someone called Sinbad.
Likelihood of a sequel
One of Schwarzenegger's least successful films (it clawed back its $60 million budget, but only just), the mere thought of a sequel to Jingle All The Way would probably make some Hollywood executives shudder.
Mr Freeze – Batman & Robin
Schwarzenegger made the ill-advised decision to appear as the villain Mr Freeze in the ill-advised Batman & Robin. Even Arnie's one-liners seemed a little off the mark in Joel Schumacher's camp sequel. "Ice to see you" and "Cool party" were but two examples.
Likelihood of a sequel
Christopher Nolan's in the process of concluding his trilogy of darker Batman movies, and Darren Aronofsky has hinted that he'd like to take up the director's mantle with a caped crusader movie of his own. Is Schwarzenegger likely to reprise his role as Mr Freeze? Given that the critical reception that greeted Batman & Robin prompted Warner to cancel its proposed fifth instalment, Batman Triumphant, it’s doubtful that either the actor or the studio would want to revisit the character.
Jericho Cane – End Of Days
Schwarzenegger’s first and last foray into the horror genre, End Of Days sees the Oak face off against his biggest opponent yet, the Devil himself, played with oily charm by Gabriel Byrne. Because this is an Arnie film, there’s still a scene where his character, depressed alcoholic retired cop, Jericho Cane, arms himself to the teeth with machine guns and a grenade launcher, even though the Devil is, in theory, immortal.
I think I’m perhaps the only person on the planet who quite liked End Of Days. Critics hated it, but I enjoyed Schwarzenegger’s turn as a booze-sodden, miserable ex-cop, which was at least a bit of a departure from the various versions of the same persona he’d played in almost every film since the early-80s. Plus, there’s something endearingly daft about having Arnie appear in a reiteration of Rosemary’s Baby or The Omen, but with added guns.
Likelihood of a sequel
Given the events that occur at the film’s conclusion (which I won’t spoil for those who haven’t yet seen a repeat of End Of Days on ITV4 or Channel 5), the odds are against Schwarzenegger returning to the role of Jericho Cane.
Adam Gibson – The 6th Day
Schwarzenegger's first film of the new millennium was this futuristic thriller, where he played a family man who returns home one day to discover he's been cloned ("There's someone in my house, eating my birthday cake, with my family, and it's not me!”, Arnold raves). A strong script ("I might be back.") was let down by tepid direction and generic action scenes, and the film was a flop, earning back less than half of its budget.
Likelihood of a sequel
By the new millennium, audiences were engrossed by fast-paced wire-fu, as seen in movies like The Matrix. Once a name guaranteed to garner huge audiences, Schwarzenegger's box office success began to dwindle. It's, therefore, unlikely the actor would choose to return to The 6th Day, a film from the latter stages of his acting career.
Gordy Brewer – Collateral Damage
Aside from one or two brief cameo roles, Collateral Damage was Schwarzenegger's penultimate feature before he began his new job as Governor of California in 2003. A return to the straight action/revenge flicks of his 80s career, Collateral Damage saw Arnie play firefighter Gordy Brewer, whose family is killed in an LA bombing. Enraged, Arnold (sorry, Gordy) heads to northern Columbia and slaughters everyone involved in the attack, and averts another terrorist bombing in the process.
Likelihood of a sequel
Another box office disappointment, Collateral Damage was delayed and re-edited following 9/11. The chances of Schwarzenegger averting further terrorist atrocities as an all-American firefighter are, therefore, minimal.
Trench – The Expendables
It’s been a long haul, but we’re finally back up to the present day with The Expendables, Arnold’s most recent big-screen appearance. You can count the number of minutes he appeared in Sly Stallone’s action epic on one hand, but it was a significant moment, nevertheless, and one that elicited wild cheers of excitement in the screening I attended.
Likelihood of a sequel
Having written thousands of words about Arnold’s film roles and his likelihood of reprising them, I’ll come out and admit the obvious. There’s little chance that he’ll revisit a single one. That is, apart from the part of Trench, which provoked so many whoops and cheers in cinemas last year.
Arnold hasn’t officially signed up for Expendables 2 yet, but such paperwork is surely a formality. A sequel simply wouldn't be complete without him. We just hope he gets a more prominent role this time, instead of a brief cameo. Roaming around with a machine gun is what Arnold does best, after all, and it would be a pleasure to see the big man back in action, offing bad guys and muttering witticisms. "Let off some steam, Bennett!"
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